SAVE FACE OR SAVE FILES

Now, let’s quickly present ourselves with a reality check:
All your company’s staff are in a meeting room for the brief of your next assignments and your boss was surfing the internet. Suddenly the computer got attacked by a “Count Down Lose All” virus. All the company’s files, including the back ups are going to be wiped once the count down reaches zero and there’s no storage device nearby and none could get there in time…. Except this your funny looking 32GB flash drive you mistakenly left in your pocket.

Would you  save face and leave the files or would you care about the shame later and save the files?
Lolz!… You said?… Let’s hear it in the comment section below!

Mature Minds Talk. 


MAILMAN’S LAST DAY

It was George the Mailman’s last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.

At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house, he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful blonde woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, which she closed behind him, and took him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.

When he had enough, they went downstairs and she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied, she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup’s bottom edge. “All this was just too wonderful for words,” he said, “But what’s the dollar for?”

“Well,” she said, “Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you. He said, ‘Screw him. Give him a dollar.’ The breakfast was my idea.”

Mature Minds Talk.

I’LL KILL THIS MONKEY

If anyone knows the where about of this monkey, please contact me on
Address: Suite 19, Gold Lodge, Aso Villa, Abuja.
Phone No: 07060496635
BB Pin: 2324D551
Website: www.maturemindstalk.blogspot.com

This thing had to tarnish my image and ruin my chances, a day to Valentine. I just didn’t have time to deal with it ‘cos of my preparations. Now Val is over. Its payback time.
This is the same one in The Hangover movies right?
Thesame one in Katy Perry’s ‘ROAR’ video.

I don’t know where you are but beleive me, I’ll look for you, I’ll find you and I’ll kill you”

What?… Where’s the Picture?… Oh! sorry… Excuse my fury. I though I started this post with the criminals mug shot.
Here. Have it and once seen, remember to contact me. I’ll take it from there.

Mature Minds Talk.


ME ON VALENTINE 2

Some are starting to literally ‘blast’ me after my previous post. Like seriously?… It wasn’t my fault nobody agreed to go out with me on Valentine. I tried my best. sent letters all around, stood at the streets. None of my letters got replied. Oh!… except one, and this was it.

I would’ve been happy, except I’ve been sober all year.

Mature Minds Talk.


ME ON VALENTINE

I wouldn’t want to go explaining much but sorry to all those who didn’t go out on Valentine. It was damn fun. I never take pictures though…. or oh! I took one. Let me just share it with you, so you know what you missed.

See?!… I told ya!

Mature Minds Talk.


53 SAILORS?!

 One afternoon after holding up a question i had wanted to ask for a very long time, i finally gathered all the courage and I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said,
“No, but I have done 53 — that’s all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

Mature Minds Talk.


LAWYER AND A BLONDE.

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY.The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains” I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice-versa.” Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, “Okay, if you don’t know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don’t know the answer that you’ll ask me, I will pay you $500!.” Figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match. This catches the blonde’s attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?” The blonde doesn’t say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it’s the blonde’s turn.

She asks the lawyer: “What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?” The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references.He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail.

After over an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500. The blonde politely takes the $500 and turns away to get back to sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, “Well, so what IS the answer!?” Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

Mature Minds Talk.


I KNOW THE WHOLE TRUTH

At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.”

Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother. He says, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.”

Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.”

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your daddy a great big hug!”.

Mature Minds Talk.


QUIET SPEECH

An Englishman ,a Scotsman, and an Irishman are all to give speeches to the Deaf Society. All are keen to make an impression on their audience.

The Englishman goes first and to the surprise of his colleagues starts by rubbing first his chest and then his groin. When he finishes the Scotsman and Irishman ask him what he was doing.

“Well” he explained” By rubbing my chest I indicated breasts and thus Ladies and by rubbing my groin I indicated balls and thus Gentlemen. So my speech started: Ladies and Gentlemen”.

On his way up to the podium the Scotsman thought to himself I’ll go one better than that English bastard and started his speech by making an antler symbol with his fingers above his head before also rubbing his chest and his groin.

When he finished his colleagues asked what he was doing. “Well” he explained” By imitating antlers and then rubbing my chest and groin I was starting my speech by saying: Deer Ladies and Gentlemen”.

On his way up to the podium the Irishman thought to himself I’ll go one further than those mainland bastards and started his speech by making an antler symbol above his head, rubbing his chest, and then his groin, and then masturbating furiously.

When he finished his colleagues asked him what he was doing. “Well” he explained,” by imitating antlers, rubbing my chest and then my groin and then masturbating I was starting my speech by saying: Deer Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure…….”

Mature Minds Talk.


AGE GUESS

A woman decides to have a facelift for her birthday. She spends $5,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home she stops at a newsstand to buy a paper. Before leaving, she asks the sales clerk, “I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”

“About 32”, the clerk replies.

“I’m actually 47,” the woman says happily.

A little while later, she goes into McDonald’s, and upon getting her order, asks the counter girl the same question. She replies, “I’d quess about 29.”

The woman replies, “Nope, I am 47.” Now she is feeling really good about herself.

While waiting for the bus home, she asks an old man the same question. He replies, “I’m 78 and my eyesight is starting to go. Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was, but it requires you to let me put my hands up your shirt and feel your boobs. Then I can tell exactly how old you are.”

They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best of the woman, and she finally said, “What the hell, go ahead.”

The old man slips both hands up her shirt, under her bra, and begins to feel around. After a couple of minutes, she says, “Okay, okay, how old am I?”

He removes his hands and says, “You are 47.”

Stunned, the woman says, “That is amazing! How did you know?”

The old man replies, “I was behind you in line at McDonald’s.”

Mature Minds Talk.