I’m in shock!… I still saw James leave the office premises on Friday evening, all smiles, looking like he was going to have an enjoyable weekend like everyone else. He was the most reserved of all the new I.T guys and he’d always help as quickly as he could, with as many things as he could.
What could’ve gone wrong?
Work resumed this morning, James didn’t show up. I’d decided over the weekend I was going to have a talk with him during break to ask him not to hesitate to talk to me if he needs anything. Instinctively, I knew he was putting up a façade. His smiles had an iota of emptiness to it.
James was found dead in his room on Sunday evening with a note and all he had the strength to write were just 5 words – “I’m Sorry. I Give Up!”
Word has it, he still went to church in the morning before he finally shared the grace on himself and drew the curtains. Word has it, he’d been withdrawn from friends and family but no one seemed to notice. Word has it, even though he wasn’t alone, he was extremely lonely.
So, all his smiles, nice clothes, helpful hands, and all were just “Divine Packaging”
If only I could have one more day with James, I’d tell him it’s okay to feel like you don’t belong. It’s okay to feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. It’s okay to feel like you’re neither meeting expectations nor living up to standard. It’s totally okay to carry “divine packaging”
But to every James reading this; please know that it’s also okay to speak to someone. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to selectively expose your vulnerabilities. It’s okay to cry and let the emotions out. It’s totally okay hang on to hope and seek divine directions.
SUICIDE is NEVER the answer!