I took one last look at the head pastor from the church gate, he was already attending to other “brethren”. I shook my head and dusted my shoes (figuratively). I’m not stepping foot in this church ever again. But the question that kept coming to my mind was – Why are Christians like this? Why do we think the highest level of favour you can do for me is to pray for me? Why do you think prayer is what everyone needs?

Please don’t pray for me.

Just the same morning, as I was about entering the church premises, a little kid walked up to me. His short was torn, I wasn’t sure if to call what he was wearing a shirt. There were little kids like that in the area. They were called furoti man’na (meaning Street Kids). I brought out my offering and handed it over to him as that was all I had on me to give and somehow, I felt God himself must’ve looked down at me with a bright smile and a pat on the back.

If anything, his prayer for breakfast has been answered. What he needed right there and then, even though I was going into the house of prayer wasn’t my prayers. He needed something in his tummy. Most people in this part of the world, Christians especially, are only experts in praying for others. Someone is hungry and you’re telling him the Lord is in control. But the Lord has not controlled you to give him that small change in your pocket; I guess.

Keep your prayers.

There’s a sister in church who has been looking for a job for three years, and your firm recruits bi-annually. Instead of announcing it in church, so people would send in their CVs. (Maybe you might just be the answer to her prayers), you’ll rather tell her the Lord will provide the best. Yea right, not just from your company.

We should pray for another as Christians of course, but why pray when you can help? As I walked into the church, I overheard the head pastor telling another pastor that he’ll need a business admin to manage his budding water company. I was extra joyful during service ‘cos that is my field. I walked up to the head pastor and told him how I’ve been jobless since the beginning of the year and my experiences as a business admin.

I was sincerely expecting him to see me as the answer to his prayers but instead told me to kneel down for prayers. After the prayers, I kept walking away slowly, all the while looking back. Nothing. Giving is every individual’s prerogative but we can’t always deny that as Christians we know that it is better to give than to receive (and sometimes to pray). Even though prayer is the key, a lot of people still die at the door.

Not because they don’t have the key but they don’t have the strength to turn the key and even walk through the door. Don’t pray like the Pharisees; save it for needs that can’t be met immediately. If you can meet someone’s needs, don’t pray for him. Meet his needs and let him go. If you sincerely can’t, pray he finds someone who can.

If everyone resorted to just praying for the victims of the floods around the world, without rendering immediate help, then what exactly is the essence of the prayer. Don’t remind me about Joel Osteen (I’m not going to point fingers).

Just have it at the back of your mind whenever I ask you for help, and it’s within your capacity, then help me. Don’t pray for me.


Mature Minds Talk


“Women don’t have sense! Seriously, no iota of sense is in their heads. They make their stupidity get the best of them, then they play the victim.”

I kept my gaze fixed on Rotimi (“The Cool G” as close pals called him), as I sat in his office and I could see the fire in his eyes. Whatever his wife had done this time, really got to him.  But even at that, I could also see someone who needed help and needed it fast. I cleared my throat to speak.

“But you can’t just say women don’t have sense. That’s a wild generalization” I said, shifting a bit in my seat. “Even your wife who’s acting up now, would soon come around and everything will be fine. You know if…”

“Ok, what exactly is my offence?” He cut in quickly “I’ve thought and thought about this whole thing and can’t seem to find where my fault is. See o… I set up two businesses for my darling wife; both crashed. I didn’t complain. I set up the third and that’s my sin. I’ve been the one cheering her on, 
every step of the way. I’m not claiming to be a saint, but I’ve never disrespected my wife in any way.

If anything happens now, everyone will start shouting Domestic Violence, DV, Men are scum and all sorts. See Jay, let me tell you something. For the past three days, I’ve not gone home straight after leaving work. I buy Boli and fish with Suya on my way home, then I park three streets away, eat and sleep. I set my alarm for 1am, then I wake up and go home. Oh! You’re surprise abi

Please tell me what I’m supposed to do when my wife has married her business and left me to return to bachelorhood? Tell me na. She leaves for work around 7am, and returns around 11pm. She has staff o.At first I felt like ok, she was just trying to reward my efforts and trust by ensuring this business survives and I was keeping up with it.

But then, when I began to feel really lonely, I called her and told her that we we’re losing touch, and asked her if anything was the matter. I told she might want to take her foot off the pedal a bit on her business. Just so she can see other things going on around her. She didn’t act as if what I said just made her realize anything. She just said “Ok” and nothing changed. I’ve called her and spoken to her on several occasions after then but each time she makes me regret it.

She talks back at me and tells me to stop disturbing her life. That she’s a driven career person. Imagine! Now, it has escalated to exchange of words and verbal abuse. I wonder why all those Feminists idiots don’t shine enough light on verbal abuse and its psychological effect. My madam has said some words to me that even my parents have never said to me. Anytime she does that, I’ll just pick up my car keys and drive off.

I’ve promised myself never to talk to her about this issue again. I know she’s pushing me outside, but I respect my vows to the last drop of blood in my veins. The one I’ll not take is someone talking to my mother. We had a heated argument day before yesterday and she said something and mentioned my mum. I didn’t hear it clearly and I asked her to repeat herself. God just saved her that she didn’t, ‘cos all hells and heavens would have been let loose. If we ever argue and she mentions my mum… My mum… The kind of slap I’ll give her ehn, I swear, her mum will feel it.

I’ll never support any form of violence but God help the person that tries to call my mum with their stupid mouth. Those idiotic activists would just be talking as if their brains have been replaced with noodles. Saying there’s nothing a woman can do that warrants a man hitting her. When she was in the bank, could she talk like that to her boss? Or can she talk like that to a bus conductor if they’ll not blacken her eye?

See Jay, everyone has elastic limit and the moment…”

“I gotta get back to work Rotimi” I quickly chipped in (I’ve heard people who have issues in their marriages can rant for hours).

“No wahala bro… We’ll see after work.”

See for another round of rant? Just bundle your wife and go see a counsellor instead please” I thought to myself as I made my way out of his office.

“Alright na. Later” I said, shutting the door behind me.

Mature Minds Talk.