SELF DEVELOPMENT

Readers are Leaders… And there’s no doubt about that.
Good morning to everyone. Hope we have a nice week ahead.
Quickly and Simply put, if you don’t read, you may never uproot ideas deep down in you and can’t have a sound self development. Most top business men, pastors, motivational speakers, even professionals like doctors, programmers, architects and so on have all written one book or the other and believe me when I say you can’t write if you don’t read. Meaning, they all read.

Let me be safe to say, if you’re reading novels like Mario Puzo, James Hardley Chase and Nico Burton, you haven’t started reading – You’re just entertaining yourself like playing a video game or watching a tv series. No self development can come from that.
A young flourishing business man in the USA said all he did was read a book and it changed his mentality from CV submission to Job creation… And the book he read was “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill.
If a single book can change someone’s orientation that much, as to make him start living a very comfortable life, imagine the resources you can tap into by grabbing various motivational and self development books that can spark up IDEAS in your head. You know the popular saying. Don’t you?
“Ideas Rule The World.”
Go read!
Try some of these:
• Think and Grow Rich – Napoleon Hill
• If you want to be rich and happy, don’t go to school – Robert .T. Kiyosaki
• Business of the 21st Century – Robert .T. Kiyosaki
• Richard Templar’s Rules Series (of Wealth, of Work, of Life, of Love, of Money, etc) – Richard Templar
• Rich dad, Poor dad – Robert Kiyosaki
• Rules of Self Discipline – Brian Tracy
• Rich Kid, Smart Kid – Robert .T. Kiyosaki
• Why we want you to be rich – Donald Trump & Robert .T. Kiyosaki
• How to talk to anyone, anytime, anywhere
• And many more inspirational books.
Readers are Leaders… And there’s no doubt about that.
Mature Minds Talk.


THE EX FACTOR #18

There isn’t anyone in this world without a problem. So when you dedicate time solving other people’s own, you must have understood the real law of happiness.
Wisdom!
Some people will simply define it as the application of acquired knowledge but I won’t ever totally agree with that cos I’ve seen knowledgeable persons run into disaster even in that area of their specialization just because of the lack of wisdom. The problems you are bound to go through and the
avoidable challenges you are bound to run into without wisdom are innumerable. If wisdom was like knowledge, what a really cool place to live in, this world would’ve been? Cos many people with the acquired knowledge on something walk around with raised shoulders and a very stupid smile on their faces, thinking they’re wiser than others. Some even mistake wisdom for cleverness. That might just be the topic for my next article, except something tells me its either going to be a waste of time and writing resources, or I’m going to receive more hate mails than I’ve ever done from some bunch of foolish readers who I’ll have succeeded in confusing, rather than convincing on the separation of the various counterfeited definitions of wisdom and the separating line between wisdom and knowledge.
I picked up my phone and scrolled through my call log.
“Who exactly do I call first?” I thought to myself. “Lizzy who I’m supposed to have acknowledged the reception of her text, notifying me of our hangout plans and see if i can excuse myself since I have a few deadlines to meet up with or Titi to apologize and either tell her I don’t know what she’s talking about by mincing and juicing words, using my intellectual and conversation powers to bamboozle her here and there and exonerate myself or come plain and expose believe and his secrets, including his present plan to make sure his secrets are kept secret or Kate the undercover agent to give her new directions to her assignment in hastily devising a pit to lead her new friend into, so as to clear the air and restore decorum and harmony while everyone gets back to the way their lives were before the start of all this twisted tale – and interestingly, I was beginning to admire Kate’s seriousness or over-seriousness about this whole ‘mission’ thing, either because she left me no choice or because I’ve realized that time is of the essence and her kind of seriousness might just be what exactly was needed to strategically journey out of the black tunnel. After all, I think I’ll just call the man behind the reason we’re in this dark tunnel in the first place. The man who was bold enough to flex a few hours of sex with his ex and the next thing is chickening out of the resulting stress and headache without even the courage to confront his fiancée and tell her what went down and what’s going to be the way forward.
“Stay away from your ex as faraway as you can.” I once read from an article online but I would say if you’re wise enough to handle your emotional person and you’ve successfully trained yourself with quality self control, staying away might just be equal to going the extra mile. It might not even be necessary, well, depending on what the cause of the breakup was in the first place cos three out of every ten broken relationships didn’t end up in a rift and one out of those three has the possibility of coming back together. Facts there, according to research.
I dialed Dave’s number.
“Howfar Jay?” The unusual huskiness of his voice made him sound like he just woke up or something was wrong with him.
“Sup bro?… Are you ok?” I asked expecting him to say he’s fine.
“I’m fine boss. How’s work?… Any new article or topic on your forum for me to feast my mind?”
“Hold on. I’ll call you back in less than a minute.”
I hung up and immediately forwarded Titi’s text to him, waited a few seconds for him to call me back and he did.
“Ha!… What do I do now?” He exclaimed and I could see his very worried look from his picture in my mind.
“What you should’ve done a long time ago to save yourself from this kinda drama. You simply wanted to eat your cake and have it and you should know its gonna puke you. I told you to confront this situation like a man. Worse case scenario is Titi breaking up with you.”
“That’s exactly what I’ll like to avoid. Don’t you get? Believe me, Titi breaking up with me would just be the beginning of a whole lot of chain of events that I can trade the world to avoid.”
“You don’t have much of a choice now do you?”
“I guess I don’t.” He sounded very cold and calm “I’ll face the music. I’ll tell her as soon as she comes back from where she went to. Funny thing is she sent that message to you, without even showing any sign to me. I guess she wanted to catch me unawares. Thanks Jay, you are a friend indeed”.
“Do what you have to do sir.”
I hung up feeling a bit relieved and a bit skeptical. Dave won’t be saying he’ll confess for the first time, I just hope this time, its for real.
I would’ve been in this same situation, had I given in to Titi’s promiscuous antics and seductive anticipation. Emotionally, men are pawns on the chess board and women are the queens cos they have been given the lion share of the power to take the emotional pathway into a man’s head. My mum would say: “When sex related issues are concerned, a man could be smaller than a fly in the hands of a woman.” I’ve never really come to the full understanding of that statement but how could sex make a full grown man smaller than a fly?… How could sex make a fragile creature that powerful and authoritative? Whatever it meant, I won’t want to be the descriptive specimen.
I dialed Kate’s number.
“Whatssup Jay?”
The calmness and unusual chill in Kate’s voice was a bit more disturbing than the way Dave’s voice sounded initially. Immediately, in a split second, i tried weighing up options of what could’ve gone wrong but couldn’t set my pointer down on any option.
“Are you ok?”
“Yes sir… Just observing my once in blue moon siesta. I’m sorry for sleeping on duty.”
“Oh… No problem” I breathed a sigh of relief, since it wasn’t more than sleepy voice. Although my instincts told me to make the conversation as brief as possible. “I just said I should check on you and know how well the mission is going”
“Everything is in shape. She told me she should be traveling anytime from tomorrow.”
“Good… Alright. Take care.”
“Wait!” She cut in just as I was about to hang up.
“Yes?”
“Who’s the lady we’re doing this for?… I mean who is Dave’s fiancée?”
My heart skipped a bit cos this was the very question I was happy that she didn’t ask. Kate must never know she was working to save Titi’s relationship. It would mean the end of the mission.
“Errr… Ehmm… Don’t worry about that. When you meet Dave, which is pretty soon, you’ll meet her too”.
“There won’t be any need for that Jay. I know who it is and why you never wanted to tell me.”
I swallowed air for a few seconds while I frantically stopped my voice from fading out. I succeeded.
“Sorry. I thought…”
“Its cool though. I don’t live on the past. Whatever happened is gone, and its not even like I’m proud of what I did back then. June was talking about her and I kinda went deeper and found out it was her. I’m not the kind of person that’ll allow past differences affect my present status. More so, it might be a chance at being able to apologize for the trouble I caused her back then. You get?”
“Yea. I get.” I replied calmly.
“So is there any update to the mission or I can carry on sir.” She sounded brighter and better than when she picked up the phone
“Errr… No but update coming in soon. In the meantime, well done agent. Thumbs up!”
I hung up, feeling like a heavy weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I didn’t know if I should feel sad for Kate cos of what she just said or to feel happy cos there’s no problem of hiding anything from her anymore.
“Well, its all good.” I said to myself, as I shrugged and grabbed my phone again.
I dialed Lizzy’s number.
“Are you a wizard Jay?… I was just about calling you.” Even with the seemingly receptive sentence, Lizzy’s voice sounded like she was about sleeping or tired.
“Oh really?… Sorry I’m just calling you. Are you okay dear?”
“Hmm… Yea. I just finished some chores and I also had to put some things in place for… No. I’ve said too much. When are you coming?… Or aren’t we going out again?”
“Errmm…” I thought of the best way to put it that I won’t be able to make time for any outing due to my deadlines.
“Pleaseeeeeeee?!”
“Ok I’ll be on my way in a quarter. I’ll be over there soon.” She did that thing with her voice again.
“Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” She sounded so excited like she had something up her sleeves and that further fueled my curiosity. I made my way to the bathroom and in less than a quarter of an hour, I was already in my car, ready to find out what was getting her all worked up and agitated.
                          ****************
The surroundings oozed a very fresh air and the level of serenity was always something I wished I could put in my car anytime I was leaving the estate Lizzy lived in. I pressed the door bell again and the door opened.
“How are you?” I looked down to meet Dorothy’s gaze with a broad smile on my face and before she could reply, I lifted her up in my arms, walked in and shut the door behind me.
“I’m fine uncle Jay.” I felt a cold chill run down my spine at the realization that Tammy was wearing a white round neck, jean short and white slips. Just what she wore in the nasty dream I had.
I smiled.
“Where’s your mummy?”
“She’s having her bath. She’s coming. She said we’re going out & me I don’t want to go anywhere. I don’t want to miss spongebob”
“Where did she say we are going to, dear?”
“I don’t know for her o. I’m just not going”
I sat down and Dorothy quickly went to fetch her painting book. I called it “jargon book” in my mind and as was her habit, she began taking me through her album of painting. Her diagrams sucked but the colours amazed me. I was enjoying her fluent flow and the way she had no trouble in carrying me along when a hand came from behind and covered my eyes in the typical “guess who” fashion.
“Tammy I know its you. You can remove your hands now before your mum comes here and gets jealous”
Liz couldn’t hold her laughter and she punched me on my shoulder. We exchanged compliments, she gave me a quick and slight kiss and told Tammy to go return her drawing book and take her clutch bag.
“We’re going somewhere different today. Kudos to my creativity.” She said, all smiles.
“Where are we going and why does it have to…”
Before I could finish the sentence, Lizzy grabbed my hand and led me out of the house, towards her car and we made straight for the trunk. She opened it and the contents really disturbed me – Food flasks, Cooler, two bottles of wine, desserts, a transparent dish containing small chops and a mat at the extreme end of the trunk.
“Tada!… We’re going for a picnic.” She smiled.
I staggered backwards, slammed the trunk lid shot and immediately felt kind of dizzy.
“Its not gonna happen.” I murmured.
The moment you realize that all the people in your life have a role to play- both good and bad, you’ll understand that happiness was never about getting a person. They are only a help-mate towards achieving your life mission.
Mature Minds Talk.


DO YOU KNOW? (WORLD CUP EDITION)

1. Who won the world cup in 1966?
2. What is Stephen Keshi’s nickname?
3. What’s Cristiano Ronaldo’s D.O.B?
4. Which team failed to appear at the WC due to travel expenses?
5. Who owns the record for the fastest goal in a WC match?

6. Who is the first player to receive a red card in a WC match?
7. Which african teams are left in the 2014 WC?
8. Which team has reached the highest number of WC finals?
9. Which teams have lifted the WC trophy back-to-back?
10. Which team failed to qualify for the WC and became champions at the next edition, four years later?
Answers
1. England
2. Big Boss
3. Feb 5, 1985
4. India in 1950
5. Croatian Hakan Sukur (11 seconds)
6. Peruvian Placido Galindo (1930)
7. Nigeria & Algeria
8. Brazil (5 times)
9. Brazil (1958-1962). Italy (1934-1938)
10. France (failed in 1994, winners in 1998)


FROM ELECTRICIAN TO FOOTBALLER

A little boy once had a very big dream of becoming a footballer and as a young boy, made known of his passion by going through the painful process of tattooing his favourite’s club badge on his back.
He was rejected the chance to showcase his talent at the age of 9 everywhere he went with the claim that he was “too chubby” but he didn’t allow that to kill his motivation and passion. He wouldn’t stop showing up at trainings and didn’t miss the south american tradition of pitch-side football. He tried a few more times and was rejected still.

He was almost following ‘instructions’ and succumbing to the pressure by quitting and becoming an electrician (he had already started partially) but decided to try again at the local club he once was rejected and he was accepted into the reserves of the B team or youth team, albeit with the nickname “el pocho” meaning “the chubby one”.
He rose to limelight in 2004 at the age of 19+ by scoring an important goal against the major title contenders in the 69th minute of their most crucial game of the football calendar and immediately he earned a new nickname “la Bestia” meaning “The Beast”… That undoubtedly was his breakthrough.
He soon stepped up to join Italian serie A side Napoli and soon made an impact for the club by scoring a hat-trick in a 3–1 victory over Pisa in the Coppa Italia at the Stadio San Paolo; this was the first hat-trick by a Napoli player in 14 years. The first league goal he scored for Napoli came during a 5–0 victory against Udinese on 2 September 2007. After the match, he was described in reports as “inspirational” with the media proclaiming, “Napoli’s star is born.” The Neapolitan club hadn’t won a league match by such a large margin since 1988, when Diego Maradona was at the club.
He currently plays for french Ligue 1 side PSG, earning a whooping £96k per week.
Ezequiel Iván Lavezzi was born on 3rd May 1985 (age 29). His last football match was against the Nigerian national team, coming on as a substitute for the injured Sergio Aguero. Argentina won the match by 3 goals to 2.
Except for persistence and determination, we would never know who Lavezzi was… Or wait, maybe just one electrician down the street.
Mature Minds Talk.


THE EX FACTOR #17

Be careful of those you’re busy watching. Be more careful of those you know could be busy watching you.
I looked around to the realization that I wasn’t in any park, neither was there any picnic nor any kidnapping taking place.
My phone rang again
“Hello?” My words came out with a huge sigh of relief, as I wriggled out of my sweat soaked t-shirt. I removed the phone from my ear to take a quick glance at the screen just to see “Private Number” as the caller.

“Hello sir”
I immediately recognized the voice and considering the fact that I just saw this person in my dream, playing a negative role, I hung up on reflex.
Ten seconds later, My phone rang again.
“One, why are you calling me with a private number? Two, what’s with the sir? Three, why are you sounding like you just won a case in court?”
“Sorry sir… I mean Jay. Well, I just accomplished the first phase of my mission. The target and I are now friends and you don’t expect me not to sound victorious…”
“Oh… Ok. Good job. So…”
“So what’s the next phase?”
“Get very close, I don’t care how you do it. Extract intimate information that can be used as leverage, learn what she’s up to and if possible, see to it that she stays on track according to what I discussed with you earlier.”
“Brief understood. Over and out…”
I didn’t reply
“…and yea. Agents don’t call with exposed numbers. Its always private. Bye”
I flung the phone aside and made my way like a drunkard into the bathroom. I stood for a couple of minutes, allowing the water run down my body to my feet. Without any motion whatsoever, I just stood stiff and pondered on what meaning the dream I just had held… If it had any meaning at all… And if it did, it sure wasn’t a good one.
I need to be very careful in dealing with both June indirectly and Kate directly cos women generally are slimy jealous beings who requires the exert of the extent of caution in dealing with.
“Trust a woman by putting her in charge…” An old friend of mine would say “…and she’ll return the favour by making you a servant”
As much as I tried not to, I found my self sailing of on the sea that channeled into my bathroom through the wall and scattered down beneath the shower metal head in a rather short while, I was off and could only hope to be back before…
                    ********** 6 years ago **********
I came out of the shower with water rolling and bouncing off my body in accordance to my movement.
“Here…” Titi said, handing me the towel. “…You’ll just keep giving someone mopping chores to do.”
“Sorry love. I’ll change”. I made to grab her from behind with my wet body but she quickly swerved out of the way. She gave me a mocking look and I responded by chasing her all round the medium sized room, jumping over stuffs all around. Titi’s athletic physique always made rough play not so rough cos she had both the strength and energy to handle my masculine energy to an extent. She was almost getting away for the sixth time of running round when I grabbed her left leg and she lost her footing. She landed on the bed and I on her. We both lay there breathing heavily while she particularly had her tongue out, trying to catch her breath. We looked into each others eyes and we both suddenly for no reason, let out a slight laugh.
“I love you Jay.” She said beneath her breath
“I love you too.” I replied moving my lips closer until it totally closed in on hers. We lay there, kissing and rolling over each other until the towel around my waist was beginning to bulge into an irregular shape.
I paused.
“What is it?” Titi asked as I interrupted her ascension into strange clouds. She really hated it whenever I did that.
“Nothing” I whispered as I made to kiss her again. She threw her face away in the opposite direction.
“I’m sorry”
“I understand. You’re trying to be careful right? No problem. I just hope you know when your carefulness gets out of hand.”
“Baby, we’ve talked about this. In life, you can’t be too careful and you know I’ve told you. Making out is for young adults, sex is for older adults. I’m doing this for us cos you won’t remember how you enjoyed it when the result comes.” I had a persuasive look on my face, hoping that would aid in driving my point home. She tried wriggling herself out from under me but I had her pinned to the bed. She sighed.
“Ok what do you want?” I asked
“I want it!” She replied almost immediately.
“Ok. On one condition. I’ll not use protection. I’ll be inside you till I cross the finish line” I smiled mischievously
“Ha!… You want to kill me. If that’s the condition, I’m not doing again. Now stand up. See you at the next make-out.”
We both laughed and I rolled off her just as her phone vibrated on the trolley beside the bed. I handed the phone over to her and in three minutes of reading the text, her laugh vanished and face very straight.
“What is it love”. I asked kneeling beside her and instead of replying, she simply tossed me the phone. A text message was opened on the screen.
Titi, I look at you and I wonder what you’ll think you’re doing meddling in other people’s affairs and enjoying the company of their boyfriends. I’ve warned you about stuffs like this haven’t I?
Anyways, enjoy the merry time while it lasts. Good things don’t last forever and I’ll be looming around you, just in between you and your shadow.
Cheers,
Anonymous.
I read the message twice and pretended I didn’t see the usual fear in Titi anytime this “Anonymous” person sends the text and I guess what makes her more scared is the fact that immediately one tries the mtn number, it never goes through. Titi already called mtn customer care thrice to help her block the line, to no avail so she resolved to ignoring with the fear of the unknown and she stopped trying.
Nonchalantly I picked up my phone & dialed the number without any iota of expectation.
“Hello?” A shrill tiny voice said at the receiving end which shocked me at first.
“Could it be that it was just a kid playing a useless prank all this while?” I thought cos the voice sounded like a five or six years old girl.
“Hi dear. How are you”
“I’m fine. Who is talking?”
“My name is Daniel and I’m a friend.” I paused a while to calculate how to proceed so I won’t scare off the little kid or lose her attention which was my most valuable asset at the immediate time. “Please can I speak to your… Or can you deliver a message for me?”
“No need. Sister Kate is just in the toilet. I’ll go give her the phone.” The little girl answered with a slight laugh in between her voice.
“No, no, no dearie. I’ll call her back in the next 5 minutes. That would be even before you tell her that I called. Can you remember the name?”
“No.”
“Ok. Good… Bye.” I hung up as one of the most relieved persons on earth. “Jealous K!”… So she was the one behind all this rubbish and Titi’s paranoia. Titi is so going to skin her alive but I just hope I’ll be able to control the situation when the time bomb finally explodes. So its true when they say ‘everyday is for the thief, one day is for the owner’. Only at that moment did I realize Titi was hanging behind me, a very disturbed look on her face and her eyeballs sparked anger.
“Take it easy babe”
“Oh lord…” Titi scorned “I will so deal with this girl, she go see phone ehn, she go pick race.”
“Take it easy sha.” I retorted, knowing she might not actually be completely bluffing.
“So it was that thing all this while. I will so deliver her from every evil spirit residing in her head.”
While I saw the sign of relief and victory mixed with frustration and anger in Titi’s voice and countenance, I took some time myself to imagine the extent some girls would go to portray a simple or rather complicated act of jealousy. Females can be very funny and unbelievable. Why go through all the stress to point out the fact that you aren’t unhappy with someone’s happiness, just because you want the source for yourself? Why make another person live in fear just because they have something you want rather than just vying and fighting for it. If it was yours, it would find a way to you and if it was never yours, you’ll never have it, however how hard you try. Why not live and let live rather than living to threaten others who aren’t even guilty of committing any offense to you?
When jealousy follows the pathway of envy, it becomes a very dangerous disease that won’t cease until it has eaten you all up.
How Titi got hold of the supposed running Kate wasn’t an event I graced with my presence but other attendees reported it began with an insult sandwiched moral talk and ended with two very nasty slaps. I could imagine the shame and the intimidation her actions brought on her as Titi was the wild one you wouldn’t want to fight with. She has regular Karate training and was a very active feminist.
“I hate to see women trampled on the society,…” She once said. “…and that’s the driving force to learning martial arts cos sometimes, words and body language might not be enough to correct some heads…”
I heard a loud sound.
I jerked out of my ‘thinking land’ and stopped the running shower. I grabbed my towel and quickly out of the bathroom to know what exactly made that sound… Nothing!… It couldn’t be from my thought or just imaginary. I was sure I heard a sound in this room and looking round, I didn’t see one single thing out of place. I was starting to get worried when my phone rang and the inability to immediately locate it made me realize it was my phone that fell initially from the vibrating effect and no wonder, since I had flung it carelessly earlier. I bent under the bed, found it and picked it up to see the annoying person who would spoil my phone just to talk to me and it appeared to be a strange number.
A part of me wouldn’t pick the call but I decided on doing otherwise.
“Hello?” I sounded as skeptical as I could be.
“Hello, please am I speaking to Jay?”
“Yes. Who’s this please?”
“Good afternoon. This is June and I’ll like to see you about something very important.” She sounded very straight and blunt.
I tried hiding the instant shock that gave me goose pimples and composed myself.
“What’s it about cos I’m very busy and may not be able to sit down and discuss this important issue with you June.”
“Actually. I sent you a text and I called cos you didn’t reply.”
“Sorry about that. Alright?… I’ll check it now.”
I hung up, checked my text messages inbox.
“2 New Messages.”
The first was from June’s number and the second, from Titi. I frowned a bit and decided to read Titi’s own first.
4:20PM
‘I thought you said we were friends Jay?… You are not my friend if you know something that can harm me and you refuse to tell me about it. Its all good and let’s just say that’s how you payback for whatever offense I’ve committed against you.
As for your friend Dave, I’m returning his ring and breaking up with him cos I can’t marry a cheat and a liar.
I’m telling you, just so you know that you have a role to play in that.
Take care ‘friend’,
Bye.
In the unsolvable maze of truth, your greatest enemies are your conscience and your gut.
Mature Minds Talk.


10 UNTRUE SEX MYTH

Most of us have learned all sorts of things about sex – from talking to friends, sex education at school, the TV or the internet.
Some things you might even have figured out from experience.
But while you may have plenty of information, some of it is plain wrong. In fact, people believe all kinds of things about sex that are simply not true.

To shine some light on the most popular and prevalent sex myths, we’ve scoured the world’s medical literature, looking for scientific studies to prove whether common thinking is true or false.
You’d be amazed at how often real research has been done on these topics!
And, more often than not, there is good scientific evidence to tell us clearly whether a theory is actually true.
Here, we debunk some long-held beliefs about sex…
BIG FEET, BIG… AHEM!
Many people think you can size up what a man’s penis is like by looking at his feet, hands, or nose.Interestingly enough, the connection between big feet and big penises has some roots in science. A gene called the Hox gene plays a role in the development of the toes and fingers, as well as the penis and clitoris. If the same gene controls the growth of toes, fingers, and penises, then might it make all of them grow big (or not)?
In fact, there’s no good evidence that men with big feet have bigger penises. Studies and researches have shown almost no correlation between the growth of the feet and that of a man’s private part.
Conclusion? You can look at a man’s feet all you want, but it’s only going to give you an idea about his taste in shoes.
MEN PEAK AT 18, WOMEN AT 28
We’ve both heard this myth so many times we assumed it must be true. But is there any scientific basis for this?
Certainly men’s testosterone level peaks at around age 18, while women’s oestrogen levels peak in their mid-20s.
Since low hormone levels have been associated with lower sexual drive, some have asserted the opposite must be true: when your levels are at their highest, your drive must be at its peak.
But what does ‘peak’ mean? If we believe frequency of sex is what matters most, single men are most likely to have sex four or more times a week in their 30s, and for men with partners, this is most likely in their 40s.
For single women and women in relationships, such frequent sex is most likely in their late 20s. So if this is the standard we use, men are peaking after women. Common sense tells us sexual desire fluctuates constantly, and is related to far more factors than age.
SEX HELPS YOU LOSE WEIGHT
Sounds plausible, doesn’t it? But unless you are having sex for much longer and with much more vigour than the average person, sex is probably not going to get you anywhere near the recommended amount of exercise to lose weight.
Sex is considered to be only a mild to moderate intensity activity, and the average sexual encounter lasts only around five minutes. Estimates of how many calories are used up range from 25 to 125 – not a great deal.
MEN THINK ABOUT SEX EVERY 7 SECONDS
You probably believe men think about sex every seven seconds. But that would mean men are thinking about sex more than 6,000 times a day, or pretty much every time they take a breath.
That would not only drive most people mad, it would make them incapable of performing any other functions at all. However, it’s true research data suggests men think about sex more than women do. A comprehensive study on the subject was published in 1994.
More than half of men reported thinking about sex every day or several times a day, versus only 19  per cent of women.
Just over 40 per cent of men reported thinking about sex a few times a month or a few times a week, versus 67 per cent of women.
Only 4 per cent of men said they think about sex less than once a month, versus 14 per cent of women. So, yes, men think about sex more than women, but the difference is far less dramatic than you might think.
Almost half of men don’t think about sex every day – and that’s  a far cry from the way they are frequently portrayed.
OYSTERS ARE APHRODISIACS
For millennia, human beings have believed that certain types of food or drink lead to arousal.
Oysters have been a favourite aphrodisiac since Greek mythology featured Aphrodite, the goddess of love, emerging on an oyster shell. Casanova was rumoured to eat 50 oysters every morning to fuel his crazy sexcapades.
But no study has ever shown oysters have a sexually enhancing effect. Nor can scientists find any special ingredient that would suggest an ability to turn men or women into  raging beasts.
Oysters are mostly water, a few carbohydrates, and some minerals. They do contain a lot of zinc, which sperm need to be healthy, but otherwise there’s no secret sexual ingredient in the oyster.
SEX IS BAD FOR A DODGY TICKER
Everyone has heard horror stories of people dying of a heart attack in the middle of sex, and those with a history of heart disease may be particularly afraid that sex is too much for their heart. But the chance of having a heart attack during sex is very low.
A large study called the Framingham Heart Study tells us that if you are a man who doesn’t have diabetes and doesn’t smoke, the chance is just one in a million. And while people who’ve had a heart attack do need to exercise some caution when resuming normal activities, they do not need to be so afraid of having sex.
The truth is that most people just don’t exert themselves that much during sex. The physical exertion is similar to walking up two flights of stairs. So if you can do the treadmill test (the stress test used to check heart function), this is about the same level of exertion you’d have during sex that produces an orgasm.
THE PILL WILL MAKE YOU FAT
Nearly all medications have side-effects. But it is a myth that the Pill causes weight gain.
It wasn’t always the case – when it was first developed, the Pill had very high levels of oestrogen and progestin – a synthetic version of the hormone progersterone – which might have caused weight gain.
But today’s Pill contains much lower levels of hormones,  and two major reviews of all the studies found no evidence of weight gain.
TESTICLES SAG WITH AGE
Most men think so. And the male reproductive tract definitely goes through a number of changes with age – the testicles produce fewer sperm, slower sperm, and sperm that are less able to fertilise an egg. The components of the testicles also start to change.
The tiny tubes where sperm are produced start to degenerate, and, overall, testicles also become smaller. These smaller testicles may seem to be hanging lower, but this is because the sac is a bit emptier.
But while it’s true there might be some weakening of the skin of the scrotal sac, the smooth muscle that controls the movement of the scrotal sac up and down continues to function for life. And that kind of muscle – smooth muscle- is unlikely to sag very much.
SEX BEFORE SPORT IS BAD
Many athletes are told they should not have sex the night before a big game because they will have less strength, less concentration, or not enough testosterone to fuel an aggressive, strong performance.
In fact, the science of what happens in the body during and after sex suggests athletes might actually perform better if they did
have sex. In one study, men who had sex the night before a sporting event had higher testosterone levels the next day than those who had not had sex.
Sex has also been shown to have no impact on leg muscle strength, grip strength, reaction time or flexibility.
DOING HOUSEWORK BOOSTS A MAN’S SEX LIFE
You may have heard that the way to a woman’s heart is really through a little housework. Studies have linked men doing more housework with women feeling that things are fairer in their relationship, resulting in greater satisfaction with their marriages.
And marital satisfaction is correlated with sexual desire in some studies, so perhaps housework will lead to satisfaction and satisfaction will lead to more desire.
But a national survey involving more than 3,500 couples found that a more traditional divide of housework – in which women do more of the work – were also the households that had more sex. For couples where the man did a larger than normal amount of the housework, the couples had less sex.
The frequency in sex continued to go down with the more cooking,washing dishes, cleaning and laundry, the man did.
By contrast, if the man did more of the traditional male tasks the couple had more sex. Does this mean that you have an excuse not to do the laundry? No. Your partner might still be a lot happier if you have an equal split of household tasks, but it is possible that there are other things going on that might be connected with having less sex.
Culled from Dr. Carroll’s “Don’t put that there”
Mature Minds Talk.


HAPPY FATHERS DAY

You never only taught us how to live, you showed us how and helped us on how to do better.

You never only showed up at happy times, you were there through the worst times and helped us pull through it.

You never only brought us up with God’s words, you taught us how to live by it when you weren’t close by.

You didn’t just teach us how to be rich, you taught us the difference between wealth and success.

You didn’t just support us with our education, you polished us with the most important part: Morals.

You didn’t only give us a house to keep us from the sun and the rain, u gave us a home to block out psychological pain.

You aren’t just a father to me, you are a DAD also. A god and everything that trails behind it.

Thanks for everything Dad. I love you.  

Happy Fathers Day!


THE EX FACTOR #16

The familiar devil is better than the strange angel; yea right but a point in time, not even the devil would need to tell you to take a leap of faith and grab the wings of the strange angel. – ME (2014)
Some tasks are not as hard as it looks, or so Kate told me.
I rolled over on my orthopedic mattress and allowed the wind of my thought breeze me away, off into the ‘thought city’, into memory lane.  

“So I’ll like you to help my friend out” I said, looking straight into Kate’s eyes.  
“Hehehe… Undercover mission indeed” she replied, as she removed her phone from inside her bag. “Punch in Dave’s digits”  
“Hmm… I don’t have his digits. I mean he switches lines like an assassin so I’ll confirm it and get it to you” I looked inquiringly to confirm if my countenance didn’t give away the fact that I was lying just immediately after sunday service.  
“Ok. No problem. Just take a chill pill. I get the message. I have to carry out the operation as soon as possible cos she’s leaving lag and I have to make everything look very accidental right?… I gat all the brief right here” she said tapping her temple with her index finger. “I won’t let you down”  
Kate was either taking this ‘mission’ thing too seriously or too nonchalantly. I couldn’t tell which. It wasn’t like we were some military operatives or some governmental Tom Cruise MI ops. We were just 2 civilians who needed help with the aid of a premeditated drama. For a reason I couldn’t specifically lay my hands on, I was beginning to feel uncomfortable in Kate’s car… Moreso, the whole church’s parking lot was left with around just ten cars scantily scattered here and there. I couldn’t wait for us to get this discussion over with, after refusing her offer to drive me home since I didn’t come to church with my car- I didn’t want her to know my place and I didn’t want distractions at this crucial time.
After all the explanations, exclamations and ‘must-answer’ questions, Kate agreed to come into play. One question I was very grateful to the heavens she never asked was who the fiancé in question was. That would be the dynamite to explode every thing that sounded possible and real about this ‘mission’ and instantly turn it from mission to fiction.  
“Other information stays classified or would be updated in my database asap right?” She asked this time looking more serious than Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider.
“You know what? Forget it Kate. That’s it. I’m outta here. This ain’t some ‘Lano-Delta’ gulf invading bullsh*t. This is just finding a way to accidentally make friends with another human being. Not a visitor from outer space!” I thought to myself.    
“Yes, it would. Thanks dear. Gotta be on my way now… I’ll talk to you soon”. I smiled as I made my way out of the car and disappeared almost immediately with the help of the timely bike man.                      
***************
Ikeja City Mall always looked different on weekends. Of course everyone was out of the inevitable hustle and bustle of the week to the hustle and bustle of the weekend. Lagos life. If you’re not in a hurry to work to make money during the week, you’re in a hurry to get to that event or hang out over the weekend. One sure thing is, you must always be in a hurry. The smallest state in its containing country but one of the most populous in its containing continent.
A bit laughable if you ask me.
This weekend was no different either, as people trooped in and out of the building engulfed by the presence of shoprite that the totality of the mall is often mistaken for shoprite. Smiling faces here and there, some girls taking pictures for new d.p’s under the large circular skylight, a few serious looking uniformed personnels and one particular female one, sleep-standing on duty.  
“Sorry, excuse me. Hi!… I’m kinda finding it hard choosing between this lavender and acqua fresh. Can you help me?” Kate held two cans of ambi pùr air fresheners in her hands, smiling childishly as the lady she asked took some thinking time herself.
“It depends on space though.” She replied “if you’re placing it in a living room, I’ll go for the acqua fresh. I use lavender for my bedroom cos the scent is slightly thicker”  
“Its my bedroom”  
“Lavender”
“Lavender it is. Thanks”  
“You’re welcome”  
Kate continued her shopping and in a couple of minutes, was facing the shoprite cashier, smiling as her atm was being worked on for cash removal. As a very regular customer with good rapport with almost all the staffs, she whispered a few words into the cashier’s ears and was soon on her way. She was almost walking past the escalator when she got a light tap on the shoulder. It was the same lady who helped her with the fragrance choice. She wore a very straight face with distaste written all over it.  
“Sorry, excuse me! I helped you decide and that’s not enough familiarity for you to pay for my cart”
“Its nothing dear. Thanks once again.” Kate smiled back  
“Nineteen thousand is something when you don’t even know who you’re paying for. I’ll like to go pay myself if you don’t mind.”  
“Actually, I didn’t pay cos you helped me with my ambi pùr decision. I paid cos you look very familiar but I just can’t place the face and I don’t wanna look too forward.”  
“Oh really?”
“Yea. You were in London some two years back.” Kate said, tilting her head a little to show it was more of a question than a statement.  
“Yes?”  
“Your favorite store was Northampton’s Walmart”  
“Uhmm… Yes?”  
“Do you still buy a bar of sneakers every time you shop?” Kate’s smile was like a detective who just cracked a case.  
“You’re freaking me out now”  
“I’m Kate and you’re June.”  
“Ok. That’s it Kate… You’re either a stalker or you just happened to slip out of my memory”  
“A ten minutes conversation, thousands of kilometers away from home won’t have glued me to your memory anyway but I don’t just forget faces. Then you happened to be the first Nigerian I met back then, who wanted to go back home asap. Others get annoyed when you ask them when they’re going back home. They wear a very stupid frown and be like ‘when they’re sending my body back for burial”  
Both ladies bursted into laughter.  
“Did you also pay for me that day?”  
“Three hundred pounds or thereabout but yes I did.” Kate replied starting to move towards the central rotating exit door.  
“I think I know you now. Forgive my poor memory and thanks again”  
Coincidentally, June’s honda was parked just beside Kate’s Explorer jeep. They got talking, exchanged numbers and zoomed off in their respective directions.
                
***************
I held Dorothy’s right hand, leaving the left for Lizzy. Freedom park was the venue Lizzy had chosen for our hang out. We had loads of stuffs in our spare hands and we got a free shaded spot.  In no time, I spread out the long mat while Liz set down the cooler and arranged the small chops we were going to munch to awaken our appetites. In a couple of minutes, we were seated and Tammy wasted no time at all, suppling the living things in her tummy their portion of the picnic goodies.
“I don’t really agree with what you’re doing Jay.” Lizzy said as soon as we had settled down. “What if this June girl gets to know?”  
“A wise man is a man who however perfect his plan seems, he always have a contigency plan.” I replied with a half filled mouth. “If anything goes wrong my dear, I’ll take the escape staircase”
“You sef. The extents you’ll go to help and protect your friends are extreme and off limits. I hope they’re worth it and won’t hesitate to reciprocate if you were to be in need of their help”  
I didn’t reply.  
“The innocent etisalat guy at Abj won’t know what’s being prepared for him until the time he’ll get served” Liz continued, sipping her drink. “What a life!… But Dave didn’t have to go that far.”  
“Mummy, I want to go and play football there” Tammy said pointing to a group of teenage girls kicking a rubber ball between one another.  
I was just about telling her to go ahead and have fun before Lizzy cut me short.  
“How many of your mates do you see there? Sit down there my friend and enjoy the match as a spectator.”  
Tammy started to grumble and I handed her a pack of assorted digestives which helped calm her down, although she still looked very interested in going to join the older ladies some fifteen, twenty steps ahead of where we sat. I and Liz kept discussing about different things over our cups of drinks and plates of small chops. Since she was such a good conversation holder. We never ran out topics and we never got tired of listening to each other.  
“Well, we didn’t plan to bring the rice and chicken all the way here and return it back home. Did we?” Lizzy asked stretching simultaneously and it made her sound like a recorded baby voice.  
“No ma’am.” I replied, amused as usual at her voice.  
“Then let’s eat. Or what do say Dorothy?… Dorothy?!”
I looked around to realize Dorothy was not there. “Dorothy?!” Liz shouted embarrassingly.  
“Hey!… Easy dear. She must have taken her own escape stair case to join the footballers. My little Tammy and football though.” I said as we both walked towards the girls who seemed oblivious of everything else except their circle of excited friends.
“Sorry to interrupt girls but have you seen a little girl, about five years old, slim and a bit fair. She’s wearing a white round neck, jean short and a pair of white slips… And yea, she has sun shades on” I asked the girls, showing them a harmless smile.  
All the innocent looking girls shook their head in unison and gradually, my heart began to beat fast and hard against my chest. I was scared but I dare not show it unless I want Liz to go haywire right there and then.
“Thanks girls.” Liz said removing her sun shades with her right hand while placing her left arm on her head like she wanted to reach over her head and touch her right ear. Fear was vividly written on Lizzy’s face and I just didn’t want to think ahead as was my habit. Not in a time like this.  
“You go towards that direction, and I’ll go towards this side. She must have blended with one of these chidren scattered about in groups. Don’t be scared okay?”
“I’m not scared and I’m not going towards any direction. I’m coming with you.”  
The cool breeze of the environment had no effect on my body system anymore as I began to sweat. I quickly wiped it off before Liz would notice. Liz kept shouting “Dorothy!” While I chose to call “Tammy!”.  
“Hey boys! Please have you seen my daughter?” I said, coming accross a group of boys playing ‘Carry and Jump’. I described Dorothy’s appearance and they shook their heads too. Lizzy was starting to freak out.  
“Or wait. She was here but her mummy, she has come and taken her away.” A little boy replied hesitantly.
Liz almost jumped on the kid who should be six years old. She firmly put both hands on his shoulder, with few centimeters between her face and his.  
“Which direction did they go?… Where are they?” All the scared boy could do was point.  
Without further ado, we promptly followed the direction and approached a mat where three grown up ladies sat and one little girl who I immediately assumed was Tammy. They sat in two on each side of the mat, all having their sides turned to us as we moved closer.
“Dorothy!” Liz shouted almost as we got there but to my uttermost suprise, everyone sitting on the mat were familiar faces.  
“Titi!… June!… Kate!… What the f girls?… What are you doing with my daughter?”  
They suddenly bursted into a scornful, irritating laughter and Lizzy immediately grabbed Tammy and tried pulling her out from amidst them, which led to a tug of war cos they started pulling her back. Confused, speechless and a bit freaked out, I joined the tug of war from Lizzy’s side and almost immediately, my phone started to ring. I ignored and we kept pulling. We were outnumbered but one way or the other we managed to wriggle Dorothy out of their grasps. Immediately, I shouted.  
“RUN!!!”  
…And I woke up with a start!
Sweat was streaming all around my body and my heart was beating like crazy!… One of my worst ‘afternoon mares’ ever.  
My phone rang again.
The only enigma is your mind. Conquer it, and you can conquer anything.    
Mature Minds Talk.


MAKING MONEY FROM INSTAGRAM

Not many social media users have thought of the various number of ways one can actually make some extra cash from the platform they spend long hours, ‘killing’ time on. Let’s take Instagram for example.
Instagram boasts over a hundred million users from all around the world. Imagine using a platform like that to gather a target audience and making some extra cash for yourself. Cool isn’t it?
Now quickly, here are a few ways you can make money on Instagram.

1. Photography
This must be the subtlest and the noblest way to earn money from Instagram. Instagram is founded on the idea that people who has a handheld camera has something interesting within them, and sharing them to a community of the same interest would bring better and even profitable results.
If you love photography (not only doing ‘selfies’) , then try Instagram. Bring your skills of composition, exposure, and retouching to the surface. Most of all, let the people know you got the skill—a skill wherein effects end up being ‘accidents.’ If you can capture great shots, people will contact you to take good shots of their products, all using Instagram.
2. ‘Back-end’ Photography
A ‘back-end’ photography, seriously? Yes, I shall call it that way. There’re some remarkable people who may not be great with photography itself, but put them in the post-processing scene, and they shine.
What I mean here is that, if you’re good with post-processing such as adding effects (where Instagram is very good at) , then you can also be hired as told about photographers. Clients may offer you few shots for you to play all day, and voíla, there’s your paycheck.
3. Instagram Marketer
A part of the whole ‘social media marketing’ idea, being an Instagram Marketer means you’re hired to market something using Instagram and targeting the communities built within the photo-inspired social network. If you’re great in dealing with people online, and if think you’ve got the technical skills and the rightful amount of time to spare, then this job is great for you!
TIP#1: Have you heard of SnapFluence ? Here, you can be an ambassador of a brand, product, or campaign. Your only job is to be an active Instagram user (such as posting updates and interacting with people) . You can get paid and you can get exclusive benefits like free products!
TIP#2: Another iOS app you can try is Popular Pays . This is how it Popular Pays works: a company will make an offer (usually not in cash but in goods) , and if you like it, join the request (for example, 500 followers for a product to be marketed) .
4. Sell Items ‘online’
Got some products to sell? Want to be a re-seller? You’ve got a business and wanted to highlight your product? Set Instagram as another channel for you to get more traffic (or attention) . One thing so great about Instagram is that you can make mediocre product shots look cool and persuasive. Once you get the hang of it, Instagram can be really helpful to help you sell more.
Moreover, you can also start your own hashtag. Enlist thousands of followers. Follow other users and get connected. The larger your network within Instagram, the better.
TIP#1: To make Instagram a little more unique and especially useful for your business, you may want to make that network a channel only for your unique offers. An exclusive and heart-pounding sale, daily deals, a free offer, a membership offer, etc.—these are some of the many options you can try.
TIP#2: Have you tired HashBag? It’s more like an app, and is actually a third-party one. But what it does is that everytime an item is posted on Instagram with the hashtag #forsale, the app automatically parses them and posts them on its own market. So if you want to make your product enlisted here, try the mentioned hashtag. Payments will be processed through PayPal and you get the job to ship the item!
TIP#3: Don’t try missing Statigram . Aside from other minor features such as selling and searching for popular members or hashtags), the main offer of Statigram is more like an analytics tool for your overall Instagram performance.
5. Market Your Service.
Are you a freelance? A web designer and developer? A fashion designer? A ‘real’ photographer? A quality analyst of some sort? A writer? Let the Instagram community know your skills by posting your progressive portfolio. Your new items on the list. Your most current project. Your most outstanding or trending project. But of course, don’t forget your contact details.
6. Sell Your Photos.
Have you ever thought of this idea? You’ve got crazy shots on your storage card, and keeping them like that will not generate a cent. But if you try to sell your photos to some agencies, you might even get at least a commission or a percentage of the profit.
The following are some venues for you to sell your Instagram photos:
Instaprints– sell your photos here and people can buy them in real materials or objects: photos can be printed and
framed, used as greeting cards, and even delivered to their doorsteps!
Twenty20 – formerly InstaCanvas, here you can get the audience you want that you once haven’t achieved in Instagram alone. Upload your photos here, and sell them as you’ve always planned.
SnapMyAd – not really a marketplace for Instagram photos, but what you get here are rewards which aren’t that bad at all. Look for a brand or niche you love, and promote your skills. If you win, you get some good shares! By the way, SnapMyAd also has its iOS app. Visit iTunes for more information and download. !
Statigram Contests – much like SnapMyAd, you choose a contest for some good trades.
Printstagram – here you don’t really sell your photos as you’ve shot and edited in Instagram. Instead, you can sell printouts of those photos using Prinstagram (whether in a form of a business card, a shirt, a calendar, etc.).
Printstagram is a printing service, but they do the job well.
7. Affiliate Links
Much like in blogging, you can get affiliate links from Amazon , for example. Get a unique link for a product, use Instagram to take good shots about the product, and when there’s a sale, you got a commission.
8. Be An Ambassador.
Best if you love travelling, you may want to take Instagram shots of the places you visit. Use those photos to market yourself being a tour guide or a local ambassador of some famous spots. Arrange dates for your followers. Gather them in actual places where you can meet. Get well paid for these adventurous services.
This trick can also be applied to restaurants, shopping malls, etc.
So that’s it for the lovers of Instagram. Don’t just waste time there, have something to show for it.
Mature Minds Talk.


A SIMPLE FRIEND OR A REAL FRIEND

A simple friend calls you by your first name, a real friend calls you by your nickname.
A simple friend doesnt know whether you passed or failed the exam, a real friend collects your script for comparison and correction.
A simple friend asks why you took his or her pen without permission, a real friend exits you’re through.
A simple friend hears all the errors you made in your speech, a real friend says “it’s a flawless speech.”

A simple friend wants to know the exact time you’ll return the money you lent, a real friend hardly cares to know.
A simple friend asks whether dad and mum is at home, so that he or she can come some other time, a real friend helps them in the house chores.
A simple friend feels uncomfortable in the presence of your parents, a real friend asks after them sincerely.
A simple friend asks why you called at this time of the night, a real friend asks what took you so long to call.
A simple asks what you’ll like  a birthday gift, a real friend already knows that.
A simple friend rarely asks after your dad and mum, a real friend had their numbers in his or her address book.
A simple friend helps you reluctantly, a real friend asks what he or she can do to help.
A simple friend says he or she doesn’t know whether you committed the crime, a real friend can tell whether it’s you or not.
A simple friend exits till a third person (party) settles the dispute between both of you, a real friend talks to you in the face.
A simple friend always want his or her opinion to bo considered, a real friend will reason along.
A simple friend says you’re always late to the class, a real friend wants to know why.
A simple friend asks “Is there any problem?”, and a real friend asks “Will you tell me what the problem is?”
A simple friend brings extra dish for your party, a real friend comes early to help with the cooking and guess late after the cleaning up.
A simple friend expects you to beg after an argument, a real friend says “l’m sorry”.
A simple friend gives you the amount you asks for, a real friend asks, “Will that be okay?”
A simple friend wants to be treated as a guest when he or she visits you, a real friend goes to your refrigerator and helps out a drink.
A simple friend says “I have only a pair of shirts”, a real friend is ready to give you the second of his (or hers).
A simple friend sends quick recovery messages, a real friend wants to present flowers him or herself.
A simple friend says “I didn’t know I annoyed you”, and a real friend says “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to annoy you.”
A simple friend finds it hard to write you apologetic messages, a real friend thinks “I have no alternative.”
A simple friend has never seen you cry, a real friend has soggy shoulders from your teatears simple friend shakes you after seeing you for a long time, a real friend gives you a warm hug.
A simple friend tells you treat the cut at home, a real friend says “let me treat it”.
……..and so much more.
What are you my friend?
A REAL one or a SIMPLE one.
Thanks for reading.
Mature Minds Talk.