Desperation, anger, love, compromise. That’s the perfect recipe for a beautiful disaster.
When you said it was over
It shot right through my heart
Why you let these hoes tear what we have right apart
Oh I was so mad,
I should’ve seen it coming right from the start
But you should beware beware beware Of a woman with a broken heart.

The chorus of Big Sean’s hit track “BEWARE” was all Dave could pick up as the music oozed out the strategically placed speakers of KFC. The place he himself had picked to see June after her third text message, requesting they meet and talk things out so no party would ‘get hurt’. He didn’t really fully understand the getting hurt part but assumed it would be whatever one could imagine it to mean.
He closed his eyes for a second and the scene of him and June making love on the night he went to see her in her hotel room flashed right through his mind. He quickly flapped his eyelids open and remembered a phrase he didn’t know or couldn’t remember where he heard it from
“The things we do in the dark, hoping they would never see the light”.
“No matter what this one would take, I’m ready to give it. This ‘thing’ that was done in the dark must never see the light. At any cost and I mean ANY… Forget about the fact that I’m engaged. Forget the fact that my parents won’t hear of me fathering a child of someone they’ve never heard of. I don’t love this girl like that. I now know that the initial gra gra was just the excitement of reunion and nothing more. Oh how stupid could you be David!… David!… You had all the resources for avoiding a scenario like this at your disposal but instead, you disposed off all of them and majestically walked into a trap. The slimy return effect of lust.”
His phone broke his thought stream.
“Hi love” he said just as he had pinched the reception button on his earpiece and looked like someone holding a conversation with spirits or simply thinking out loud. “I told you I was going to Simon’s place… No, you must have forgotten. I’m almost there though. What?!… You have a feeling I’m lying?… Why would I wanna lie about my whereabouts? God forbid if something bad happens and you start looking for me at the wrong place. You have to believe me abeg oh!… I’ll talk to you as soon as I’m through there, probably we could hang out and that is if there’s still time and you’re not busy yourself… Alright. Take care of you for me… I love you”. Dave was a terrible liar and he knew sometimes, even an eleven year old girl would do far better. As usual for him after telling a lie, he was beginning to get nervous and a bit impatient.
“Oh lord! Help me not to strangle this girl here and help her not to toy with my red button” he thought to himself as he sat on the edge of his chair in the far end of the eatery. He took a quick glance at his watch for the third time and just as he picked up his phone, June walked in.
Dave adjusted himself in his seat, rolled both palm over his shirt and placed his left elbow on the table while his thumb and index finger did the little task of stroking his beard to probably help him keep calm or make him look like he was.
“I’m sorry dear. Hope I didn’t keep you waiting for too long”
“Go straight to the point. You’re here now”
“Why being so harsh?… Are we quarreling?” June’s voice had a tone of persuasion but more of sarcasm.
“It depends”
Before replying, Dave looked at June like she wasn’t the same June he had being craving to meet some few weeks ago. Like she was a changeling who had suddenly and unexpectedly shed her harbouring skin. He just suddenly detested her and everything she stood for. It wasn’t like an intentional or self wrought hatred, the feeling just stirred up right from his subconscious and it was beginning to get out of even his own control.
“It depends on what we have to discuss here. I wouldn’t want us to waste our precious time or merry go round believe me. You’re pregnant and I’m the father. I’m engaged and you know that. What is the way out cos if you harbour any thought that the pregnancy would or could be your ticket to our coming back together, I’ll ask you to drink a few glasses of water and think again. Whatever you -“
“Wait David!” June cut in, looking very calm and composed. “I know you are engaged and I’m not trying to key you down or anything. I’m here for the same purpose as you. To find a solution. What’s the next step cos if you habour any thought that there’s the slightest chance of me committing abortion, I’ll ask you to drink a few glasses of water and think again.”
Dave clenched his teeth together. His looks had the mixture of anger and irritation. A slim dark guy in uniform was walking past and stopped.
“Can I get you anything sir and ma”
All Dave had to do was look up and lock his gaze with his. The message was clear. The slim staff adjusted his collar button and moved on.
Dave looked at June for a few seconds and continued.
“If I’m not fathering this baby and you’re not aborting, what is the middle ground here?”
A mischievous smile very slowly formed on June’s lips. Her confidence and composure overwhelmed Dave where he sat and in contrast, she had a look of pity and compassion. Her looks made him more nervous.
“Ok dear, what do you want me to do? Tell me anything you have in mind but like I said, no abortion… Its one of the scariest thing on a woman’ s path and I’m not ready to die for you or us. I’m sure you’ll eat rice and chicken and even drink beer at my funeral. I have a close friend I lost on the abortion bed, so don’t be so surprised its not even amongst the options. Asides, to me its a sin against God and humanity. Does one know the stress God goes through to put a child in the belly and program what he or she would become in life? You’ll just wake up one day and put all those effort to waste by murdering the baby without even knowing if he’s the president or an activist that would one day bring world peace… You would never have heard the name Abraham Lincoln, had his mother gone ahead to abort him when she contemplated it, and some other notable people. Dave, I know you must have thought we would be sitting here, discussing how much removing a baby would cost but if that was the case, we wouldn’t even be sitting here at all. I have enough money to remove ten babies. I’m sorry to disappoint you but I’ve personally signed a petition on the eradication of that evil called abortion. Please let’s approach this very delicate issue from a different and more matured point of view. I beg you”
Dave sat quietly as he listened to June’s little speech. Her countenance and the calmness in her response was just so soothing. It was like the exact quantity of water required to quench the fire burning in him.
To fight a war, men depend on their weapons and strength, while all a woman could need are her words.
“I’m sorry for all my attitude earlier June. I really am, believe me. I was just a bit confused and unsettled. I’m a guy and I hope you understand how off guard these kind of thing can catch someone.”
“Its ok Dee. Let’s just come to terms and make a pact.”
Dave made a quick glance at his watch.
“So asides removing the -“
“Aborting the baby.” June chipped in
“Yes aborting the baby, what can we do instead?”
“You’re the guy. Think. Whatever you decide, its your call”
Dave dropped his head for a few minutes as his brain rattled hard for what could be the best solution for both parties which would save them from ‘getting hurt’. He looked straight at the ceiling and thought some more and just like an eureka moment, he jerked forward his seat.
“I got it”
“Ok?… So what’s it?” June replied with an eager expression and faint smile.
“If you wanna hear it, gimme your ear. The walls have ears”
June leaned over and made her right ear close enough to Dave’s mouth, allowing him to whisper the answer he got directly into it before the wall’s ears could pick it up.
“Not bad. Not bad at all.” June said as she removed her ears and returned back to her position. “Let’s see how that pans out”
“The only way it won’t turn out well is if you don’t follow the script and you intentionally want to disappoint me”
June let out a small laugh.
“I won’t want to disappoint you. Would I?”
June’s phone rang as they shared one cause of laughter. Something that had not happened in a while. She hit the green space on the screen as she flipped back her hair and kissed the phone to her right ear. Dave continued to smile in his seat while he excused her.
“Hello babes. Howfar?… Oh you got my text?… Thanks again for the other time. I just downloaded the second episode of scandal’s third season through that same link you gave me. This Olivia pope is just too much… What?!… I’m not busy oh. I’m just hanging out with a friend. I’m at ICM. Yea… That KFC side… It won’t be bad if you can come around now then your boyfriend can meet us here… Mini party loading. Hahaha!… No wahala. Take care now… Later.”
Be careful where you choose to trade so you don’t trade in a land where the seller is being sold with the goods.
Mature Minds Talk.


Everyone deserves happiness. How we make use of the different chances and opportunities life presents to us is what defines our happiness when all is said and done.
Three blind mice, Three blind mice
See how they run!, See how they run!
They all run after the farmer’s wife…
And she cut of their tails with a carving knife
Have you ever seen such a thing in your life
Like the three blind mice!.

I sat on the long couch with a broad smile on my face, applauding Tammy at her excellent recitation. This almost four year old girl was just too sharp for her age. Although, a little part of me was wondering why of all poems, that would be her favorite… Not even “Who sat and watched my infant head, when sleeping on my cradle bed…” Well, children of nowadays they say have spiralled out of any bit of adult anticipation and will always come at you through ways unexpected.
“Excellent. Excellent. Nice work” I said as I reached for the white nylon on the couch beside me. “Here you go.”
I handed her 2 packs of short bread and juice, and watched in admiration as she hopped away happily, shouting.
“Mummy, stop delaying us. Mummy stop delaying us”.
We were going out and she looked stunning in her jean short and cream polo top. Her little all-star shoes completed the dose of a mini fashionista. She even had a shade and a clutch bag. Only God knows what the bag would contain. Probably just two sticks of sweets.
“I’m coming darling” I heard Liz reply from her room. “Just a minute.” I couldn’t really point out if she was talking to me or Dorothy and just as I switched my line of sight from the pictures on the wall to my phone, a big book landed on my lap. It was an atlas, a very disturbing atlas and what made it disturbing was that of all the contries jig sawed out in the seven continents, only Wales was circled. I felt a pinch in my stomach as I looked up to meet Dorothy’s smiling bright face.
“Uncle Jay, have you been to Wales?”
“Errr… Nope. Why?”
“Cos my daddy is there and my mummy said he’s working hard to build a house and then my daddy will come and take us to Wales”
“Yes!… Isn’t that nice uncle Jay?”
“Very nice dear. Very nice”
“My mummy said if I can study hard and come first every term, my daddy will buy me a unicorn when he’s coming back”
“Of course!… I’m sure he will.” I tried very hard to hide the baffled look on my face with a wide eye surprised expression while praying that Liz would emerge and put an early closure to what might be the most awkward conversation I’ll be having in a long time.
“Yipee!… I’m going to Wales. I’m getting my unicorn” She hopped away again and came back almost immediately.
“This is Nigeria” she said pointing a pencil to the throat of Africa on the map. “…And that is Wales. You see its not that far”
Only then did I realize she had a wobbly drawn arrow, springing from Nigeria to make an end inside the circled Wales. I almost didn’t know what to say. I was caught at an odd time in the middle of a question-like statement. I involuntarily sandwiched my tongue between my right upper and lower canines, an habit I thought I had dropped. That gesture only came with sympathy. I subconsciously did that whenever I felt really sorry for something or someone, and as I did, I slightly shook my head.
“Can you see it uncle Jay?”
“Yes dear. Actually, things are a bit farther in real life than they appear on paper but its still not that far. Okay?”
“Okay uncle Jay.” She sounded a bit calmer and with the eraser end of the pencil partly in her mouth, she looked towards the direction Liz was supposed to have appeared from. Only God knows what exactly was keeping her.
“Can I ask you something Uncle Jay?” She whispered, making a quick glance again at the same direction.
“Anything princess” I replied shifting forward as I saw it looked like she wanted it to be just between the both of us.
“Will you be my daddy for the main time?”
“I’m sorry for the delay guys” Lizzy’s voice split I and Tammy as she snatched her atlas and slowly walked to where her school bag was lying, probably to return it. Her mom made her way to the glass center table where her car keys were and my eyes rolled from mother to daughter. Questions rocketed randomly in my mind and I just…
“I’m sorry love. I was looking for my atm card…”
“Its in your second drawer!” Dorothy cut in. Her face showed displeasure, most likely at her mum’s bad timing.
“Yep. Thanks. I’ve seen it. So can we be on our way guys?” Liz smiled innocently. We made our way slowly to the car and as I had expected, Lizzy’s step was quicker, compared to the slow thought-filled steps I and Dorothy took. I didn’t need a spiritualist to tell me what was battling in the mind of this little girl and all other little kids, suffering from the absence of either both or one parent. In a second, my heart reached out to all of them and I felt the pain they quietly pass through while gaining little or no comfort from the ridiculous stories they’ve been told by either their guardian or the present parent. It might work now but the hurt they’ll feel later in life when they realize they’ve been lied to from the beginning of their lives, that feeling of betrayal and being cheated on, waiting for them at a particular stage in their life when they finally outgrow the cock and bull tales they’ve so long being fed like their dad is working hard in Wales, their mum is studying in the US, their dad went to purchase a house in london, some would even make the story as dumb as, their mum went to the market. Like seriously?
Little Tammy’s reaction when Liz came out was a clear indication that she knew exactly what she doing and the fact that it would never occur to Liz if she were to guess what we were talking about was a clear indication that kids and their reasoning levels are highly underrated.
A lot of kids out there who do not have the joy or know what it means to be jealously and lovingly sandwiched between your father and mother while growing up and a lot of adults who think children don’t have thinking times themselves to ponder on things they’ve been told, especially when its starting to look vague and the patch up stories don’t match up. A lot of kids who before they sleep at night, say a word of prayer on behalf of their dad. A dad who has abandoned them and taken to his heels in the face of responsibility, who doesn’t even care how a flesh from his flesh and blood from his blood is faring. It takes a lot of negative energy to be as callous as that… And these kids grow up with the hope of a happy reunion as one of the paramount things in their hearts. It goes on until the brain is developed enough and capable of logical analysis. One unanswered question starts to give birth to more unanswered questions and the truth which in one day wins a race lies started years back would come out in its very usual bitter form and lead to hearts broken and words unspoken. That’s why some children, after knowing the truth will never forgive their parent or parents as the case may be, if the cause for a reunion comes later maybe when they are successful or something, and one father or mother pops out of thin air… except for divine intervention.
Every child not only deserves total happiness, but also require it as part of the necessary facilities of growing up.
“Will you be my dad for the main time.” The shrill thin voice resounded in my head. I was so taken aback by that question that if Liz had not appeared at that time, I could shed a tear. With kids, I could be as weak as that and if it were possible, some kids also would give everything to see themselves grow up under the watchful eyes of both daddy and mummy.
My heart sank a bit.
In a world where some things will never change and irrespective of one’s age, life would never present one with everything one desires, the fact that a child’s parent has either left or demised should not be left long overdue by the guardian, foster parents or the parents who have adopted and brought up the child till the child discovers the truth himself or herself. Telling them the truth when you think they can be said to be mature enough to understand would give room for hurt and recover in quick time and all that’ll be left would be the question of who his or her real parents are in cases of abandonment, not demise and some children would not even care but self discovery would give a lot of room for hate, depression, and could even go as far as psychological instability in some cases.
Every single child is a gift and must be treated as such. – Mary Slessor
If I had as much money and affluence, I’ll see to it that abandoning a child becomes a big crime carrying a heavy punishment and the only children in motherless babies home would be orphans. They would have one of the best care and treatment. Good food, good education and good social integration.
Although these can’t replace the love and affection of a parent, it will go a long way in reducing the number of embittered children who develop into social rejects and in turn constitute the larger percentage of criminals causing havoc and troubling the society. If there’s just one single reason why divorce should never happen, it should be because of the children in the family. That’s my take on broken marriages and disjointed homes.
Yes. I think I’ll be Dorothy’s dad for the ‘main time’ since I know her father who to her is coming with a unicorn from Wales might never show up again. I’ve fallen in love with these two ladies I first met at the bank some months back and they have grown to become one of the most important things to me now.
“Love?!… Jay!!… Jay!!!”
Lizzy’s shove jerked me out of the my world of thought to realize I was sitting behind the wheel, both hands on it, Lizzy looking confused at my troubled expression, Dorothy sitting quietly at the back with a juice box in her hand and straw in her mouth.
I looked at her.
“Are you alright love?… Your eyes are misty”
So I came to realize that the emotional fluid had engulfed my eyeballs. I pulled out my handkerchief and wiped my eyes. Lizzy turned her head back to look at Little Tammy,
“Dorothy are you alright?”
“No mum. I want my daddy” she replied as she and her mum broke down in tears.
Some things are beyond our control but we must be very wise with the things that are not.
Mature Minds Talk.
This episode of THE EX FACTOR is dedicated to every child out there. May every source of pain and hurt be blocked from your lives.
Happy Children’s Day.


“Not every feeling follows logic and reasoning. Some feelings are so strong, they’ll make you question the logic behind your reasoning”
“If everything is just as you explained to me, you can’t just tell her fiancé. It would probably go on to be your word against hers and you know what…”
“I know. That’s why I’m seeking your opinion on what to do. Fine, a part of me succumbs to her, but I don’t want that. She just intentionally wants to implicate me with her lack of self control…”

“Yep… Like if it was her fiancé that entered and caught you both in that very compromising position. You know it’ll take a lot of explanation and probably hypnosis to get him to delete that picture from his head.”
“I know it would be a different story entirely. So what do I do Liz?”
“I’m not too sure, but text her you’re going to tell her fiancé of all her antics not because you want you ruin her relationship, but because you can’t stand to see your friend marry someone who instead of staying true to him, keeps running back to her Ex. Then she shouldn’t even for a second think about coming near you, even in public. That’s the best mind game I can think of for now”.
“Thanks. I know I’ll break my way out of this”.
“You’re welcome. Do what you have to do. I have to be on my way”.
“Liz, we’re good right?”.
“Yes we’re good”.
As I saw Lizzy off to where her car was parked, the silence gave the chance for me to reminisce on the awkwardness of the other day. What the….?!… Someone you have feelings for, catching you red handed in such a questionable position? Oh Lord! I’ve never seen Titi so embarrassed. It was boldly written all over her, like she just wanted to vanish… And in a few seconds, she had grabbed her stuffs and dashed for the door mumbling what sounded like
“Jay, I’ll see you later”
Before I could say “No!… I don’t want to see you later!”, she was gone and so I stood there starring at Lizzy like she was a spirit who suddenly emerged from the wall, watching her line of sight roll from the shirt… my shirt on the floor to my guilt engulfed face. Back to the floor and to my face. That said it all.
“Errm… I’m sorry Liz”
“Yes you are” was her reply as she also made for the door and slammed it shut so hard, the hinges creaked. I must say it took quite a number of texts and twitter direct messages to prove my innocence, bring Liz to accept my apology and bring her to the discussion table. The river of relief that flowed through my soul when she agreed not only to meet me, but to meet me at my place was overwhelming but I probably wasn’t overwhelmed.
I stood behind Liz as fumbled with the key in the driver side door, impulsively tapping her shoulder as she pulled open the door. She turned around only to be enveloped by the aura of my closeness. She moved back a bit but couldn’t go more than a step since her car wasn’t going to help out. Before she could bat an eyelid, I planted a subtle, deep and tasty kiss on her lips and whatever hidden chemistry questions was there between us got solved within the few seconds that the kiss lasted.
It was either his physical appearance or the reflecting ring on his finger that made Believe look a bit older and different. He walked into Bar69 like he owned the place and I thought I was the only one who noticed but as soon as he sat down, Mikee chuckled, I wore a mischievous smile but the outspoken Doc FM gave him a sarcastic bow.
“You never told us you’re the new owner of the place” Doc FM said as he dusted the part of the table before Dave.
“I’m the what?!”
“The majesty of your steps is so intimidating boss” Mikee chipped in.
“You guys need to get serious. Believe me”
“We believe you bro”
Doc FM’s reply nearly made me choke and the choking sound was the only sound I made in between their normal welcoming jesting.
In a few minutes, everyone was drinking and talking about different things, from football to some crazy things happening at work and sure thing, girls. I hardly chipped in any contribution cos what was on my mind was very different from the rest of my friends. I was contemplating telling Believe about me and his fiancée. The thought was beating hard against my chest and it was almost pushing back the drink I was slowly and quietly sipping.
“No matter how hard you search, there’s almost not a right way to do the wrong thing”
Their conversation continued and I laughed when everyone was, to camouflage the worrisome expression that’s trying so hard to get printed on my face.
“…Is it not you Jay?… Would you go over there and say Hi?”
I was lost in thought.
“Jay!… Bro!” Mikee jerked my elbow and I almost jumped out of my seat cos of the electric shock the elbow generates when being jerked at.
“What?!… Arrgh!… What’s wrong with you Mike?”
“Nope, what’s wrong with you?” He replied opening another bottle. “You’ve been so quiet since and you’ve not followed any conversation we’ve had here. Even your cover up smile looks so fake and sheepish. Just so you know, you need to work on it”
“What’s the problem bro?… Talk to us. We’re here to help in any way we can. You can vouch for us. Can’t you?” Doc looked more serious now and one thing I hate that I like about him is his bulldog-like attitude. He would never let one rest if there’s any thing raising his eyebrow. I do tell him he was a detective in his former life and he had very clever way of asking questions at times. I knew without being told that the only way out of the prying eyes and eager ears of these three fellas was if they just willingly decide to drop their questions… And even if they do that, Doc FM would come back later to pester the living day light out of my head… So I decided to be a man and tell them what was bothering me. I didn’t know how they would react but for peace’s sake, I had no choice.
“Ok. Ok. I’ll tell you guys but what’s the issue on ground that needs my opinion?”
“Forget it bro” Dave quickly replied.
“Yea… Just one girl, probably one of these girls looking at you from across the bar” Mikee added.
“Where?… Maybe its someone I know” I looked around, searching for any familiar face.
“Guy talk and don’t toy with my patience” Doc FM said turning the direction of my head back to where it started.
I cleared my throat. They adjusted their seats.
“I’m in love with a single mom!”
The instantaneous reaction to what I just said was like the bell sound in american high schools. The Joy on those teen’s faces as they leave their teacher standing there while they rush out and head home. While Mikee was hugging Dave with one hand, Doc FM was high-fiving the other hand. Dave quickly poured out drinks in all cups including mine as they raised them up for cheers.
I sat there with folded arms on the table, looking at the three supposed adults around me merrying like ten year olds.
“What’s wrong with these ones?!” I thought.
Doc FM was the first to notice the way I was watching their intended hilarious display.
“Wait… What?!… Did you just say single mom?!… Like after one?”
“Yes. Single mom like after one”.
“Oh Prrrrrrrrit” Mikee had his fist over his mouth.
“Who’s she?… Why are you going for a single mom when there are hundreds of single ladies out there wishing you’re the answer to their fasting and prayers” Dave said with his cup almost at his mouth.
“Her name is Lizzy. She’s a single mom. I don’t know how, but it just happened”.
“Ama deliver this heart breaking news to alla them hopeful ladies out there, starting with the chica bonita over there” Mikee made his face so gross, I almost threw my drink at it.
I looked across to see the ‘chica bonita’ walking towards our table. the lady kept coming closer and only when she reached our table did I realize it was Kate. Oh gosh!
“What does she want now?” I thought.
“Hey Kate!… What’s up?!” I forced a smile. “These are my friends. Guys, this is my old friend Kate”.
“Hi everyone” she waved, wearing a very attractive smile. “I’ve seen you a long time ago from across the bar, just didn’t want to disturb you guys’ conversation but I’m about leaving, so I said let me just say Hi”
“Oh very thoughtful” Doc FM replied. “Could you just stay with us for five minutes?… Here, an extra seat”
I gave Doc the “what are you doing?!” Look. He saw it but ignored.
The five minutes conversation went safe and sound with gulp of drinks in between except for the sudden panicky look on Believe’s face. I noticed but shrugged it off.
I saw Kate off to the parking lot of the bar, standing in a bit of intimidation as she zoomed off in her grey explorer Jeep. “Yep. You should’ve done your research” the mischievous part of me said as I watched with hands in my pocket. “She’s from a rich family”
“Like I care” I replied, making my way back into the bar to see Dave standing at the door. He looked sick.
“What is it?… Are u leaving?… Wait!… Why do you look like you just humped a ghost?”
“I’m a dead man bro. Believe me, I’m in deep deep trouble.”
“Talk to me.”
Quickly, he handed me his phone. A text was on the screen and seeing it was from ‘Ex. Sch. Mate’ I had so much bad feeling about it, I almost couldn’t scroll down. I did and the text read:
“Hi Dave, I heard you’re engaged. Congrats dude but you might wanna get one more ring for your baby mama. Or what do you think?… We’re having a baby. Congrats again. I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Any woman who is sure of her own wits, is a match, at any time, for a man who is not sure of his self control.”
Mature Minds Talk.


Changes, changes and changes. The only constant thing is change and this brings us to the point of discuss for today.
I have a friend who’s like 5 years older than I am. She was always very attractive and everyone appreciated her style, fashion sense, charisma and beauty. That was before she got married. Yep, she’s married now and everything that got everyone stealing looks at her just suddenly disappeared.

The word “Who am I forming for?” is always her reply if you attempt to bring her to the fact that she needs to be more good looking like she used to, cos for someone seeing her for the first time, you would just breeze by, almost shaking your head and the old fashioned young lady that just passed beside you but believe me, she suddenly became that way after her marriage. She wasn’t always that way. Now, she combines opposing colours and sometimes takes her whole dressing to the ’60s.
I was forced to ask her once “Why did you get married?” Cos her fashion and style keeps degenerating with every passing day.
The funny thing was that just yesterday, I was opportuned to hold a conversation with her husband who in the 2 hours conversation, complained about his wife’s nose diving fashion sense.
“We only go to native parties now.” He said. “I can’t take her to cooperate events or programs organized by my company anymore. She does look very odd and it wasn’t like this before. I feel it’s my fault because she asked me one time like that, if fashion and appearance attracted or distracted me and I said NO.” Every effort to get her stepping up her dress sense meets the barricade question “Who am I forming for?” He was really sour about it and that gave me more concern since I used to console myself with “If her husband is not complaining, who am I to?”
Ladies, the fact that you are married or have a fiance is not the green light to poor dressing and very shabby looking appearance. If you’re not looking good for anybody, what about your man? Think about that.
Mature Minds Talk.


Hi everyone, my name is Tokunbo. I’m 35 and married with a daughter. You’re reading this because I need views and opinions before I make regrettable decisions.
I love my wife to the core and will do anything to keep her happy. Although we’ve been married for 3 years, I’ve known Chidinma since I was a corper in lagos and she was a student in Unilag. We started dating and she motivated me into working while I was serving. I got enough money & with her
motivation, I moved from squatting with some of my cousin’s friends in ojuelegba to a self contain at Surulere. She moved in with me after service, around when I got a telecommunication job on the island. She insisted we moved to the island like she doesn’t know how expensive living there was. To cut the long story short, we moved to a miniflat in VI. The next year, I opened a boutique for her and we both make considerably good income at the end of every month.
My wife has an extravagance problem and at first, I saw it as a positive motivational habit but now I know I was wrong. I’ve stopped taking her for shopping cos once something attracts her she buys it. However needless and unreasonable. She stops when her cash is exhausted. Sometimes she borrows from me, from her siblings, from her friends and has even tried borrowing from our church. Early this year, she told me she was worried with her lavish spending and that she needed help. She saw a therapist for a week and stopped. All effort to get her back was to no avail.
She recently borrowed a huge sum of money to purchase a land at lekki phase 2. Her extravagance has really dragged my name in the mud as she can’t seem to stop borrowing even though after every nasty incident, she cries and vows to control herself. I’m really fed up cos this habit, to me has good sides (like the land that will appreciate in cost later, although I’m or we’re still owing like N6.5m in total.) And we’ve had to change my daughter’s school to a cheaper one. She calls me “Mr. Stingy” but I know I’m not stingy. I’m just being prudent.
I’m thinking of divorcing Chidinma cos we can’t keep cutting our coats above our sizes and expect to move forward. I have more important things to achieve financially than just settling brainless debts. There’s nothing bad in thinking and acting big but when there’s no self control like my wife, one will end up thinking and acting foolish.
Pls what do I do now cos I’m really really fed up? Thanks.


Welcome back to a world where everything is much more twisted than it seems.

As unpredictable as I am, I was not thinking of Dave, Titi, June, Doctor FM or whosoever was already in or going to get into the confession saga. I was thinking about Elizabeth or Lizzy as she introduced herself. #T.E.F 6

Making friends is easy cheesy and Lizzy’s case was easier, considering the fact that she called me first and she was naturally a comely person. She even had already asked me to come see her at home even though we just got on the same page. – #T.E.F 7

I walked into the pub and made for our regular spot. There she was, in a sky blue polo shirt a black trousers sitting opposite someone. I moved close enough and stop beside the table. A fair skinned lady sat opposite Titi. – #T.E.F 8

A drop of sweat hit the file on the table. Dave’s body system was not acknowledging the temperature of the room in the slightest.
Doctor FM was the last person that should know about this whole June issue. – #T.E.F 9

How did she change this much that I had to go through all this homework to recognize her? Isn’t this the same girl I avoided throughout my pre university and university days? The same girl who didn’t care whether I had someone I was dating or not… – #T.E.F 10

“Follow your heart but take your head with you or might loose your soul”

Jay, thanks for the advice you gave me to come plain to Titi. It was a good one from a kind friend. I was going to do just that when we went out last time but I just couldn’t gather the balls to. I chickened out man. Believe me, that sh*t is not as easy as it sounds. Not at all. She kept on pestering me cos I already told her I wanted to tell her something extremely important. You know what? I just ended up putting an engagement ring on her finger.
It was freaking emotional and I just can’t find the words to describe that moment. I’m officially engaged… Albeit with a secret lurking in the shadows but I don’t mind. I’ll savor every moment and hope for the best… And by that I mean I hope I gain the courage to talk to her about this soon.
You know its funny how the day went from confession to proposal, agreement and expression of love. But I have to say, the twist to this particular saga is really going to do my head in with words coming out that I’m dumping Titi cos I caught her cheating. Can you believe that? Who would say something like that. & could their be any iota of truth in it?… And if there is, who might she be cheating on me with?
I’m going to dig this up and get the fact behind this. I know my fiancée is not cheating, but I want to know who the dumbass spilling lies all over is and when I lay hands on that person, God help his or her soul with the manner of sacrificial lamb I’ll make the person.
Thanks for always having my back. You’ve been more like a bro than a friend and I really appreciate. However it goes, you’ll be the first to know.
Take care man. Later.

That was my third time of reading Believe’s mail and I don’t know why I keep having mixed feelings every time I do. Of course I’m happy for him and my ex, Yes I hate the fact that he has something to hide and its something I know about, but the main thing of concern is the cheating part.

Its one thing to face temptation. Its another thing to fall for it… The curios case is falling for a temptation that probably has no way back up. – ME(2013)

“Waddup Jay?”.

“I’m good”.

“Are you ok?… The way you sound, you’re either ill or tired”.

“Its the latter. Tedious projects. And oh congrats on your proposal acceptance. Your fiancé told me”

“Dave!… Excitement has wiped the meaning of surprise off his head. We were gonna surprise you guys… And oh, I’m on my way to your place”

“What?!… Why?!… And what happened to prior notice? What if I’m not at home?”

“Easy with the questions dude. I just said I should stop-by for a glass of drink. Or you got company?”

I thought for a second… Lizzy was my only guest for the day, insisting when we went out on sunday that she wants to know my place and her arrival as we agreed was around 2 hours time. I hope Titi wasn’t sent on any party popping  mission cos that really wouldn’t be nice and I didn’t want anyone to know anything about Liz just yet. I’ve not been able to categorically define my feelings for her. I could say we are just friends but won’t be wrong either if I say we are a little bit more. For instance the outing on sunday at ICM. We talked, laughed, held hands, played game, had a great time and yes we kissed… Or… Almost kissed.
I really wished Liz wasn’t a single mom. That was the only tough barrier in the way of me getting it going with her – Innocent Tammy. Even if I was going to pull the stunt, it would take a lot of convincing and persuasion for my parents to have anything to do with such relationship. I can’t even tell my mum. My churchy mum and her strict laid down principles. She could give one a lecture that would make one vow never to marry in this life, even the next; If marriages occurred there. She didn’t take it with levity hands at all and I really don’t think I have the gut to tell her I’m courting a single mom without telling her when the holy spirit gave me the green light, the bible verses it led me to, how many times I and my pastor has prayed about it and if I took the right laid down steps in the vine yard.
First of is the guy getting the green light, telling the girl’s pastor, the pastor would then convey the message to the girl and instruct her to go pray for her green light too. When she gets it, she comes back to tell the pastor then guy and the pastor would proceed to break the news to the girl’s parents and once they give their own green light, the guy and pastor again journey to the guy’s parents to obtain their green light too.
Once all the green lights are collected and theirs no commas or question marks, courtship can start officially and…

“Hello!… Hello!!” Titi shouted.

“Yes?!… Sorry, I… What was it you said again? I didn’t hear you well”

“Should I come or just go straight to Ikeja. End of story. Stop wasting somebody’s credit”

“Yep sure, of course. Stop by so I can see and take pictures of your ring. New pics for my boring instagram account”

“Hehehe. Dry geek”

Titi was looking gorgeous in a blue checkered shirt, black tight jean, red converse and a black snapback. Her D&G shades and D&G black bag just rounded it all up. Even Joan Rivers would’ve given her a thumbs up for this.

After the exchange of pleasantries and actually taking pictures of the lovely piece of the sign of commitment on Titi’s finger, We sat at my window dressed living room table, sipping drinks from the frosty and enjoyed the an uneasy and heavy silence. We kept looking at each other like two robots going into synchronization. We both knew there was something we wanted to say but its either it was too odd to spill out or we just didn’t know how to say it.

I poured myself another glass.

“Say it” Titi said as I raised the cup to my mouth.

“Go first” I replied beneath my breath, inhaling the scent of the freshly poured drink. “Ladies first”.

“Are you happy?”

“Of course. I’m very happy”.

“I’m not totally happy” Titi said she dropped her cup on the table.

“What?!… Why?!” I asked with a sincere mixture of curiosity and sympathy.

“I have feelings for you Jay. every time I see you or talk to you, it shoots up like a music sound bar. I don’t know what to do. That’s why I’ve tried not see you for a while if you notice. I’m scared. I’m scared of loosing myself and soiling my image in the process of deceiving myself, my fiancé and everybody else around me.
We need to talk this through and that’s why I came here. I need you to help me and if possible, be my therapist.
How does one get completely over an ex?
What do I do? What steps do I take and how exactly do I shut you out completely and stop feeling like I’m locked in the past?”

I sat there staring at Titi like I wasn’t there and she was just thinking out loud. I really didn’t know what to say and with all my guesses before she showed up, this here didn’t pop up as a possibility of why she was stopping-by.

“You can’t have feelings for me Titi. Its a taboo. A crime that can’t be heard of. You haven’t tried hard enough and you have to. You have to kill it. Any atom of feelings you have for me, just cut it off. Yea its easier said than done but believe me, it can be done. All we gotta do is try, and if it doesn’t work, we try harder”.

“Have you killed your feelings?”

I almost chocked on the drink. That question caught me right off guard.

“No… But I’m working on it”. I replied in between a few coughs.

“Hmm… Ok” She said loosening the buttons of her shirt.

“What’s she doing” I thought to myself.

“You know it was always going to be a little tough for me as a single person but you’re in a relationship and that shouldn’t only serve as distraction but a replacement.  Dave is a good guy and we both are aware of how much he loves you and the distance he’s willing to go to prove it… “

“…So once you have someone you’re dating, she’ll not only distract you but would wipe me off your memory completely. Right?”

“Right!” I tried sounding as blunt as possible.

Titi stood up from her seat, wriggled herself out of her shirt without saying a word and made for the other side of the table where I was seated.
Quietly, I stood up to distance myself from her present choice of fashion consisting of her bra & her black jean. One way or the other, she zoomed and pushed me.

“What are you doing?” I whispered with my back against the wall.

“What does it look like?… I love you Jay. I love you more than Dave”. She said in almost inaudible tone. “David is cheating and you I guess you know it. You probably don’t want to tell me cos it’ll hurt me”

I mumbled some words as she pressed her chest against mine, shooting hot breath at my jaw. My self control must auto activate itself now. It must not let me down or else I’m a dead man.
Titi began rubbing her hands all over me as I stood there like a pole with my eyes closed. I guess she must mistaken that for a go ahead while I was fighting a serious fight with the large part of my inner self which was still very much under Titi’s spell. She placed and raised a leg in-between mine and except I was taller and she couldn’t reach my lips, a kiss would’ve been her next move. Suddenly, a sharp tingling message went circulating through my central nervous system and I opened my eyes to see my shirt on the floor. When and how she did it, I wouldn’t know but her tongue on my nipple was the button for the message been delivered to cause the bulge in my pants. I felt my whole defensive system crumbling and for the first time, my self control would let me down.
I said some inaudible rubbish and lowered my jaw, ready for when Titi’s mouth would be done with my nipple.
A part of was fighting the fight of resistance, and just as she brought her face up…

…Something dropped.

Subconsciously, I yanked Titi off me and looked right at the floor. A brown handbag.
Oh sh*t!… This wasn’t good. Not good at all. I almost didn’t bother looking up out of shame… No, not shame. Embarrassment. This was her favorite bag… Or that was she told me.

“Wha… What’s… Whatsup Jay?!”. Liz said with both palms on her cheek.

“Everything is not always as it seems. The thin line between an escape and a ‘got caught’ is called “Timing”.

Mature Minds Talk.

THE EX FACTOR is a weekly publication from the MMT JOURNALS. Scheduled for publishing every Saturday by 9pm.
Read, comment and  invite your reader friends too.


M- Miraculous happening and
A- Abundant supply of good things shall be
Y- Yours in this unique month of sufficient grace in Jesus name.

The grace of God will lift you up, bless your life and put laughter in your mouth.
As may cannot be abbreviated, so will no one shorten your life. (AMEN).
                                                                                      HAPPY NEW MONTH.

Now, the exciting thing we want to start this month with and to apologize for the coldness of late is giving out free ‘MMT’ customized T’s to loyal MMT Blog followers. qualification for this is as easy as blinking your eyes.
– Comment on posts and you might be the lucky one. Preferably, comment using your name and email address.
– If you can’t or your network won’t allow you, don’t panic. At the end of your comments, put a signature. That is, something peculiar to only you. e.g: ‘Timothy’, ‘JKA’, ‘Slimberry’ etc. at the end of your comments. The same way most of our posts end with ‘Mature Minds Talk’. Got it?

This will run till mid month. So comment and anticipate. Thanks
Have a blessed and surprise filled month of MAY ahead.

Mature Minds Talk.