THE EX FACTOR #10

He that loveth not knoweth not God for God is love (1 John 4:8)

The pastor gestured and demonstrated every point of his topic “Love your neighbour”, driving home his points in the loud and sharp sermon voice and little wonder was it that no one, either didn’t have the gut to sleep or the sermon was just sleep depriving. I jotted points and listened with rapt attention as was my attitude in church since I couldn’t just imagine sleeping when someone was talking to me
personally. Truth is, the reason why people sleep in church is “Exclusion”. They set their minds to being locked out of the set of people being spoken to and their body responds to the resulting boredom by playing with their eyelids.
“Let someone open to the book of first John chapter three verse eighteen”. A lot of bible pages flipped in response to the pastor’s call. A lady from the choir shouted, meaning she was the first to get there and a sign for other bible scramblers to back off. “My little children…” she continued in her ear piercing voice as she spat the words into the microphone “…let us love not in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth”.
I resumed my jotting as the pastor continued on how the world would be a better place if we all were to see ourselves as family. The intriguing thing about the sermon was the silk and perfect way he adequately didn’t approach the sermon from a religious doorway. I applauded him in my mind cos the argument some would put up when you bring up such issue is to tell you why christians are the perfect lovers and within a short period of time, overturn the whole discussion to a religious debate.
“…Imagine a suicide bomber who has been promised a lump sum of money to be given to his family after carrying out his assignment”. The pastor paused for a moment to wipe sweat off his face.
“Quickly, I’ll like to tell you how wrong you are if you believe bombings and killings all around are tagged to a particular religious group. You’re dead wrong. That aside, if the man for a minute before he presses that red button that would terminate his life and that of many innocent others takes a look around and sees every innocent person, moving around without the knowledge of what’s about to happen as members of his extended family and would love them the way he loves the ones he believes he’s dying for, he might change his mind to live and let live”. The pastor continued, talked about families. The way the husband and wife loved each other during courtship and the first few years of marriage before gradually, unnoticeable changes start to creep in. “That’s why you see some couples divorcing after 25, 30 years of wedlock and you’ll be like ‘how come?’. The divorce started some ten years before that day of official announcement. Its just an accumulative effect that got to a stage of the last straw breaking the camels back”.
He completed the terrific sermon with Mark chapter twelve verse thirty-one. Read by the same screaming choir lady. “…And the second is like, namely this, thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than this”.

At the end of the sermon I realized the topic ‘Love your neighbour’ was the one I jotted most in any church service. It was more of a lecture than a sermon and I think we would have less Jonahs and sleeping beauties in the church if pastors went for sermon lessons or something. Whatever would make you effortlessly carry people along and hit them like it was a one-on-one conversation. Regardless of how fruity and awkward it sounds, I was blessed.

“Jay!… Jay!!”
A shrill voice called out as I made my way towards where I had my car parked. I turned around sharply, a bit shocked cos I was like a ghost member in this church. Quietly come in for service on Sundays, quietly go back home. Midweek wasn’t my thing and thank God I wasn’t even going to be home by the 5pm-7pm service time so I had the perfect alibi. Doc FM had gone as far a branding me the “Ninja Member”. Its a thing of joy we didn’t attend the same church.

“Jay!… Oh my gosh!”
I frowned and squinted a little as the lady approached me, she wore a black hat on a wine coloured nicely cut skin tight gown and a small black jacket on it. She clutched a very fine brown leather bag in her left hand and waved with her right. Slim, tall, and must be in her mid twenties. The shade the hat casted on her face made it a more tedious task recognizing who it was.

I tilted my head a little to the right. Still no result – I began to feel uncomfortable.
She kept coming closer and closer and before I could say “Jesus” she jumped on me and gave me a very tight hug. I let out a very confused smile as I thought to myself “Who could this be?”. The hug lasted around ten very long seconds and I wished to God it wasn’t someone I had buried in the grave of my past… I know even God has a sense of humor.

“Long time” she said when she finally got kind enough to let go and allow me breathe.

“Longest time” I replied with a fake smile, still trying to figure the face out. I wish I could just flip up the hat but that wouldn’t be gentlemanly.

“How have you been? How is life treating you? Is this your church? This was my church before I traveled and I came back last week”

As she rushed through her numerous questions, my brain’s scanner was flipping through faces and I almost slapped myself when I realized who was standing right in front of me. KATE!

How did she change this much that I had to go through all this homework to recognize her? Isn’t this the same girl I avoided throughout my pre university and university days? The same girl who didn’t care whether I had someone I was dating or not… She categorically asked me once if she could be my side chick. I laughed at the joke but what made me laugh was the fact that she was serious. This was the Kate who from Titi’s friend became her rival and engaged her in a battle she was sure to lose. The Kate who paid a friend to talk to me and persuade me to date her. The girl I almost dated out of pity and sympathy. The person behind some threat messages that brought out the scared side of Titi before her cover blew. Kate or “Jealous K” as we referred to her amongst ourselves back then was the girl I avoided more than I would have done to a person I was owing. She was the one who would do anything to call me hers. Even go as far as pretending to be sick and the taking my act of good will as an opportunity to yank off her dress, leaving her with her briefs. It took the grace of God to escape that black hole. I never told Titi about it but anytime I remember the scenario, I always picture myself as Joseph, fleeing Portiphar’s wife and imaginarily pat myself on the back. Not many people have the gift of self control.
Kate!… The girl who it took two nasty slaps from Titi for her to desist from her sneaky and creepy obsessive attitude towards me. “Jealous K”.

What happened to her? We all wondered cos after her burst up with Titi, we just didn’t see or hear about her again; like she just vanished and we gave Titi the medal of “The Protector”.
So she didn’t desist because of Titi’s slaps; she actually traveled out of the country.

“Jay!… Jay?!”

I jerked out of memory lane and met her gaze. She has really physically changed.

“Yea… I almost didn’t recognize you. What were they feeding you at…”

“… University of California?”

“Oh?… I thought you went to the UK.”

“Nah!… Too mainstream. That’s another Nigeria. Just the updated version.”

“I see” I said, widening my eyes for emphasis.

“You stay around here?”

“Not quite. I… You?” I just didn’t want to disclose where I stay until I’m sure of the kind of person she is now. One thing I know for sure is: She would be better or worse.

“Yea… Not really. Not too far if you’re driving. I stay at King’s View estate, Block 17, flat 2… I stay alone; you know my parents are out of the country and are settling in the U.S. Would you like to know the place?”

She asked in the same American accent she had been using to hold this conversation right from the very beginning. Girls who travel out and their quick accent acquisition skills… Whew!.. And why did she just tell me she stays alone? I thought.

“Humhh… Yea sure… That will be totally cool but not today. Sometimes this month, I’ll just scrap a day’s schedule to hang out in your place”. I replied,  scratching the back of my neck.

“Aiit. I’m gonna have to go. Got a few peeps to visit and deliver their goods. It was really nice seeing you Jay. Sorry to say this but I did miss you”

“And why is it sorry to say” I asked as I let out a little laugh

“I’ve not forgotten the lessons I was taught. You remember. Yea?”

I coughed and cleared my throat.

As she made to leave, I pulled her hand drew her closer to me, almost chest-to-chest, looked into her eyes for a few seconds and whispered theatrically:

“How do I find you if I don’t have your number?”

“Uhmm… Wow!… Pardon me. I… Uhmm… Almost forgot that”. She replied as the pitch of her voice danced to the rhythm of instability. “Here”. She said, stretching her iphone 5c to me. “Punch in your digits”.

“Here. Punch in your digits” I mimicked as I stretched my S4 to her. I can’t be intimidated.

She laughed.

Her laugh though. Did she go for laughing lessons cos there’s something that made me steal looks at her anytime she laughed. Her laugh looked and sounded very professional like they were practiced.

“Sister Kate!” Someone shouted from the other wing of the auditorium and we both turned. WHAT?!… It was still the same choir lady who read all the bible passages and spat them into the microphone. What’s with this lady and noise?!

“Welcome oh!. Are you going now? Maybe you can drop me off at our junction”

“Yes ma’am. I’ll be with you in just a minute” Kate replied, pulling her car keys from her hand bag. “I better get going before those expecting me starts their battery draining mission”.

“Is that… your car?” I asked pointing to the white BMW X6 hunch back parked on the other side of the parking lot.

“Yes sir” she smiled.

I felt like folding my car in my pockets and just take a walk home. Finally, I was intimidated. Urrgh!… That feeling.

She threw her phone in her bag and hurriedly made her way to where her car was.

“I hope we can hang out one of these days and my regards to Titi”. She said, without looking back. She started her car, stopped to pick the shouting lady and zoomed off.

I stood on that spot for about half a minute, allowing my thoughts to sway back and forth like a pendulum bulb.
Slowly I rounded my car and shut the door. Just as I was about to start the engine, my phone rang.

“Hello”.

“Hi Jay!… How was service”.

“Fine. Sermon was top notch and I caught up with an old friend. Couldn’t be any better”.

“Hope you’ve not forgotten we’re going out later today”.

“Lizzy, I’m feeling a bit tired. Can we make it some other time”.

“Aww!… Pls Jay!… Let’s make it today”.

I dropped my head on the wheel. I hate when Lizzy uses her voice as a weapon.

“Alright. Alright. I’ll pick you up around 4pm. Capiché?”.

“Understood. Thanks boo”.

“That’s true!” I thought to myself. “I haven’t heard from Dave, which was kind of strange. Yesterday was the D-Day he had picked to break the news to Titi and on a very good day, he would’ve told me how it went. Maybe they both had resolved to keep everyone out of their business, which would be the best decision and the greatest relief for me.  Or did something go wrong?”

I drove unusually slowly for some reason I couldn’t really lay hands upon. Then this red light staring at me for like forever made matters worse. I wonder who invented traffic lights. There was no car in sight and it looked annoyingly mischievous. Like the machine was savoring each second it had to take dominion over me.

My phone beeped to the reception of a new mail.
“He’s not a bastard” I said, seeing it was from Dave but the title certainly toyed with my curiosity.
It read “YOU HAVE TO READ THIS JAY”

Mature Minds Talk.
THE EX FACTOR is a weekly publication from the MMT JOURNALS. Scheduled for publishing every Saturday by 9pm.

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TIPS AND TRICKS FOR IMPROVING YOUR MEMORY

There is no such thing as a “bad memory”, and everyone can improve their memory, as long as you are not suffering from memory loss as a medical condition. If you want to improve your memory, there are a number of things you can do, from eating blueberries to using a variety of mnemonic devices. If you’re optimistic and dedicated, you’ll be able to improve your memory, whether you want to win the World Memory Championships, ace your history test, or simply remember where you put your keys. I stumbled on some very helpful tips. Here:

  1. Use association to remember facts. To use association effectively, you can create an image in your mind to help you remember a word or an image. For example, if you have a hard time remembering that JFK was the president involved in the Bay of Pigs invasion, just picture the handsome president swimming in an ocean surrounded by happy, oinking pigs. This is absolutely silly, but this concrete image in your mind will forever help you link the president with this event                                                                                                                                  
  2. Use association to remember numbers. Let’s say you keep forgetting your student ID every time you need to use it again. Just break down the number into smaller chunks and create images associated with those chunks. Let’s say the number is 12-7575-23. Find a way to make these numbers meaningful. Let’s say “12” happens to be your house number, “75” happens to be your grandmother’s age, and the number “23” is Michael Jordan’s jersey number. Here’s what you can visualize to remember the number: Picture your house with two copies of your grandmother standing to the right, showing that the house comes first. Then imagine Michael Jordan standing to the right of your grandmothers. There you have it — 12 (your house), 7575 (double-dose of Grandma) and 23, the basketball star.                                                                    
  3. Use chunking. Chunking is a way of grouping things together to help you memorize them. Random lists of things (a shopping list, for example) can be especially difficult to remember. To make it easier, try categorizing the individual things from the list. For example, list all of the fruits together, the dairy products together, and the bread products together. This will not only help you memorize the list, but it’ll make your shopping experience much faster.
If you can remember that, among other things, you wanted to buy four different kinds of vegetables, you’ll find it easier to remember all four.
Chunking is what we do when we list a phone number with dashes. Which looks easier to memorize, 8564359820, or 856-435-9820?
You probably won’t remember 17761812184818651898, but try putting a space after every fourth number. Now you can see that those numbers are years, and you can pick key events from each year to help you remember the string of numbers (such as the Revolutionary War, War of 1812, Mexican-American War, Civil War, and Spanish-American War).
  1. Use rhymes. Using a variety of common and silly rhymes can help you recall basic information. For example, if you’re trying to figure out if April has 30 or 31 days, just say the old rhyme aloud: “Thirty days has September, April, June, and November.” Then you’ll remember that April does indeed have 30 days. Here are some other rhymes to use as memory tools:[3]
“In fourteen-hundred ninety-two, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.”
A child can learn the alphabet by singing it to the tune of “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star,” which makes the letters rhyme.
  1. Use acronyms. Acronyms are another wonderful tool for remembering a variety of things, from the names of the five Great Lakes to the words used as conjunctions. You can use a popular acronym, or create one for yourself. For example, if you’re going to the store and know you only need Butter, Bread, Almond and Eggs, then just create a word out of the first letter of each term: “BABE” — Butter, Almond, Bread and Eggs. Here are some popular acronyms to use:
ROY GBIV. This man’s name can help you remember the colors of the rainbow: Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet.
FOIL. This will help you remember how to multiply two binomial terms: First, Outer, Inner, Last.
FANBOYS. This acronym can help you remember simple coordinating conjunctions: For, And, Nor, But, Or, Yet, So.
  1. Use acrostics. Acrostics are similar to acronyms, except instead of just remembering the acronym, you can remember a new sentence made out of the first letters of a set of words that you have to memorize in a certain order. For example, you can say, “My very educated mother just sent us nine pizzas” to learn the order of the planets: Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto. You can also make up acrostics of your own. Here are a few more popular acrostics.
The above six points were grouped under Mnemonic devices. These are really tips in remembering things we would normally forget. Other interesting and simple tricks are:
  1. Imaginary writing. This helps in remembering a person’s name. Use a popular trick; when a person introduces themselves to you, picture them with their name written on their forehead. This will associate the image of that person with their name.                                                                 
  2. Move your eyes from side to side. Studies show that moving your eyes from side to side for just 30 seconds once a day will align the two parts of your brain and make your memory work more smoothly. Try this trick when you wake up in the morning.                                                   
  3. Smell rosemary. Studies show that smelling rosemary can improve your recall. Carry around a spring of rosemary or smell rosemary oil once a day. The Ancient Greeks even put a spring of rosemary behind their ears on exam days to help them boost their memories.                               
  4. Use your environment. Change the normal location of things to remember to do something. If you need to remember to take your multivitamins every morning, then put the toaster on its side, and only put it back in its normal place after you’ve taken your vitamins. Seeing the toaster out of place will remind you that something is off and that there’s something you need to remember.                                                                                                                                     
  5. Exercise your brain. Regularly “exercising” the brain keeps it growing and spurs the development of new nerve connections that can help improve memory. By developing new mental skills — especially complex ones such as learning a new language or learning to play a new musical instrument — and challenging your brain with puzzles and games, you can keep your brain active and improve its physiological functioning.
Try some fun puzzle exercises everyday such as crosswords, Sudoku, and other games which are easy enough for anyone.
Get out of your comfort zone and pick something that is new and challenging, which makes you flex your brain muscles. Try to play chess or a fast-paced board game.
  1. Stop thinking that you have a “bad memory.” Convince yourself that you do have a good memory that will improve. Too many people get stuck here and convince themselves their memory is bad, that they are just not good with names, that numbers just slip out of their minds for some reason. Erase those thoughts and vow to improve your memory. Celebrate even little achievements to keep yourself motivated.                                                                                       
  2. Say things you want to remember aloud. If you have trouble remembering whether you took your medication every morning, just say, “I just took my medication!” right after you took it, to reinforce this idea in your mind. Saying this aloud will help you remember that you did indeed take your medication.
This also works if you’re meeting a new person and don’t want to forget his name. Just repeat the name naturally after you learn it: “Hi, Sarah, it’s nice to meet you.”
This also works to remember an address or a meeting time. Just repeat it aloud to the person who invited you: “The Grand Tavern at 7? That sounds perfect.”
  1. Deepen your breathing when you have to remember something. When it’s time to study or remember something new, switch your breathing pattern to be slower and deeper. Deeper and slower breathing actually changes the way your brain works, by inducing the brain’s electrical pulses to switch to Theta waves, which normally occur in your brain in hypnogogic sleep.
To activate your Theta waves, switch your breathing to your lower abdomen – in other words, start breathing deeply from your stomach. Consciously slow your rate of breathing too.
After a few moments, you should feel calmer, the Theta waves should be flowing in your brain, and you should be more receptive to remembering new information.
  1. Don’t cram for an exam. Cramming only works to put information in your short-term memory. You may remember the information for your exam the next day, but you will barely recall the unit when it’s time to take the final. Spacing out your studying is important because it gives your brain time to encode the information and store it in your long-term memory.
And those are the tips I got for improving ones memory. I’ve been on my memory skills and will definitely add some of the tips here to make me even better.
Oh!… Then the final tip I almost forgot to mention and which is the basis of most people’s memory problem is:
Sleep well. The amount of sleep we get affects the brain’s ability to recall recently learned information. Getting a good night’s sleep — a minimum of seven hours a night — may improve your short-term memory and long-term relational memory, according to recent studies conducted at the Harvard Medical School.
    Go to bed at the same time and wake up at the same time every night. This will make you feel much more rested.
    Spend at least half an hour reading in bed and winding down before you go to bed.
    Shut off the TV, your computer, and any other visual stimulants at least an hour before bed.
    Take catnaps during the day. They can help you recharge your batteries and boost your memory.
There can’t be change without sacrifice. To improve your memory you have to work on it.
Mature Minds Talk.

CHRISTIANS DISGUSTED WITH ‘NOAH’ MOVIE

Official Vatican newspaper, L’Avennire, has labelled Darren Aronofsky’s NOAH a “missed opportunity” which ignores God, but stopped short of calling for a boycott of the controversial biblical epic. Its reviewer criticised Aronofksy for veering too far from the account of Noah in the book of Genesis in a verdict published on Thursday ahead of the film’s Italian debut. In comments translated by the Hollywood Reporter, the critic also labelled the movie “strange” and “perplexing” while admitting that it represented a “visually potent” piece. The review in L’Avennire is the first
official indication of the Vatican’s views on the film, which has been the subject of criticism from religious groups in the US and is currently banned in a number of Muslim countries.
The pope’s views on the movie became the subject of heavy media interest after star Russell Crowe took to Twitter to offer the pontiff a private screening of the $130m film last month. Crowe and Aronofsky went on to briefly meet Pope Francis in Rome, though it later emerged that the latter had not watched the movie
The Vatican’s verdict won’t be much help to Christian audiences wondering whether to see the film, regularly cited as a key demographic target for studio Paramount. The issue may now be somewhat moot: NOAH, which also stars Jennifer Connelly, Ray Winstone and Emma Watson, opened in No 1 spot at the US box office last month and has so far taken $182m worldwide.
I consulted my first choice movie critic, Digital Journal after reading this and that about NOAH and this is what in their typical blunt and straight to the point way had to say after seeing the movie.
The realD 3D movie experience itself
Firstly, we were seated somewhere in the middle of the theater. We suggest you reserve a seat somewhere in the back as far as possible from the screen, as the movie with its abundance of 3D close-ups on the characters’ faces full screen get extremely tiring on the eyes. A good distance away from the screen might be more comfortable on your peepers.
The watching of the movie
We found the pacing of the film extremely slow. We had trouble sitting still. You might do well to take along some knitting work or something you can do silently and with minimum movement.The actors are of course all well-known so try not to confuse them — Russell Crowe is not the Gladiator this time, and no, Emma Watson doesn’t know spells to get them out of tough fixes.You will have to sit through a very long piece of the movie before it gets to the flood water outburst, which is a rather short and about the only climax in this movie, so take along extra reserves of patience.
What do we think after watching the whole thing?
The story falls flat right after the flood waters have hit and the screaming subsided. The filmmakers tried to spruce up the boredom of sitting in the ark by making Noah into a crazy psycho killer who wants to butcher the babies of Shem’s wife, so as to make sure all of mankind is dead when all is said and done. For some reason Noah thought all of mankind must die, including themselves, right after they have saved and re-released the innocent (the animals). Not much is made of their landing back on solid ground, or the bird that brings the olive branch. There is more like a transition from a scene where there was still water but the ark has hit a mountain top, immediately to a scene from where all the animals are already gone and Noah and his people are outside somewhere doing mediocre things with long faces. Here the filmmakers tried to put in some last emotional impact with the characters talking overserious with each other, but really all the impact the movie might have had is behind us by now. It wasn’t the time to put in emotional driveltalk, as it wasn’t convincing to believe that characters who were actually in that situation would actually talk emo rubbish like that. Probably it would have been more convincing to portray them as playing in the waves or enjoying baby booming.Also, if you’re waiting for the rainbow, there is no rainbow. More like the movie ends with some silly circles of feint color in the sky. Not a rainbow though. Not sure what that was supposed to be.
Our verdict
More over-melodramatized, too slowly paced Hollywood drivel. Not all boring though. People will probably like all the violence and killing of the group of people who want to take the ark right before the flood. But don’t expect it to be more special than just about every other movie made up of violence and cgi.One difference though is that there wasn’t that much sexy sex in this one. Just some clothed lovemaking of Shem and his wife, and a rather untasty Noah lying naked on the ground after drinking grape juice. And his sons didn’t walk backwards when they put a blanket on him. Personally we had trouble associating with any of the characters. There’s not anyone you can relate to. Noah is a psycho killer who wants to kill everybody outside and inside the ark, the others are just there, the animals are CGI, and most everything just happens up there on the screen. One can’t care for anybody really, because nobody and nothing is charming. Even the ark is too simple a box. Where is the Hollywood artistic freedom when you need it?
Recommendation on whether to go watch it or not
Yeah, go watch it. It’s not like you have anything other to do with your life than watch movies for excitement to forget about your own boring life.If you watch movies for entertainment, you might as well watch this one too. No reason not to. It’s there, just like any of the steady supply of others.
So where is the controversy?
In our experience, there is no controversy. No idea what all the banning and spazzing of some is all about.You have to be a religious fanatic who tries to see threat in everything that depicts his religious imaginations differently than he expected, or have severe chemical imbalances in the brain, or be mad beyond help in order to find this movie any different from watching Transformers 2 or any other such sci-fi drivel. Sorry to disappoint.If you don’t care much for religious drivel, or you are religious but you don’t believe some flash-in-the-pan guy-rides-shipping-container-on-waves depiction will cause your God to die on the spot and you need to save your helpless God from this movie that he’s helpless against by spazzing out like a maniac, you will find this film has just about as much impact, or lack thereof, depending on your taste, as most every modern movie.
Anything that teased the imagination?
In the movie are extremely fugly characters made of stone, called The Watchers. They have some divine connection, and are actually made of light but were encrusted in stone for having fallen like fallen angels and landing in lava that dried around them. And of course they were uglified and deformed as only the sicko Hollywood cgi artists can make them, with scrawny misshaped limbs of sort and all.That is in this movie. In the real world, there is a lot of interesting reading you can do on the concept of The Watchers. Do an online search and see what you find. All sorts of interesting ancient godly divine things to stimulate the imagination. Some reading will claim mankind’s first civilizations and cities, as well as later ones such as Jerusalem, were cities of The Watchers. Who were “The Watchers”? Go find that out. Go on, get out of here.
Anyway, I’m going to see this movie tomorrow. So if you’re planning on doing so too, let’s form a curious risk taking tag team.

Mature Minds Talk.


MORAL LESSONS FROM A FOOTBALL MATCH

Cool Monday morning ain’t it?…And I hope you all have a great week ahead. How’s the Easter plans shaping up?
Meanwhile hope no one missed the match of the season that saw Liverpool lay one hand on the trophy with their 3-2 victory over Man City. Congratulations to all Liverpool fans, the trophy is now theirs to lose. Now that’s not really the point. I was chatting with a female friend who happened to be a devoted Liverpool fan and she was just all excited, she went as far as giving me a moral talk from
the match. Amusing but quite educative and interesting. Things females can do when they are excited though. Lol.
I gained a bunch of things from her talk and I just felt like sharing. So in quick itemized run down, here are the points she mentioned. I hope I don’t bore you with it.
#1. Take EVERY advantage against an opponent: City were playing with the pressure of catching up and closing the gap, playing on away ground and some key players were either sidelined or managed to play (Aguero & Yaya) and Liverpool quite rightly took advantage of that with the fans getting on their back.
#2. Don’t WAIT for the perfect time: Straight from kick off, Liverpool displayed their intent and had no time for the opening pass around and formation gelling and it payed off in the sixth minute. You all know what they say about early goals. Don’t you?
#3. Don’t be CARELESS: Unnecessarily giving away possession was one thing Liverpool avoided like a plague. Don’t lose whatever falls into your possession or you might pay dearly for it.
#4. MENTALITY matters: Liverpool played to win. They didn’t play not to lose and just in case you don’t know, they are two different things and this got me really thinking cos as a Man United fan, that’s how we’ve played most of our matches this season and we’re sitting pretty in seventh place. Mentality really matters.
#5. Know the importance of TEAMWORK: There were a lot of position rotation in the red’s squad most especially from Steven Gerrard, Coutinho and Raheem Sterling. Team work is the key to fluidity and effective work pressure distribution.
#6. Know what’s at STAKE: knowing what’s at stake is always a form of motivation. If we win, one hand is on the cup. If we lose, we might have to try again next season and their motivation payed off from the start of the match to regaining their stride after their momentary loss of concentration.
#7. Go for GLORY: Although Phillipe Countinho (if I got his name correctly) was labelled the man of the match, the match winner for my friend was Sterling. Sometimes when there’s no help in sight, don’t lose your stride and blame others. Try it on your own. You never can tell what’s gonna come out of it. Go for the spectacular. If it doesn’t work out, you can always try again and if does, you can become the hero.
#8. Your DELIVERY counts: Through out the ninety five minutes, every single one of Liverpool’s corner was a threat. Thanks to the quality of delivery from Gerrard and to reward him for quality delivery, one of them got turned in for skrtel’s seventh goal of the season. You may have a good delivery time, don’t forget to add quality.
#9. Don’t be afraid to CHANGE: Daniel Sturridge was rather wasteful on the day and the manager took no time in getting him off the pitch. Change is the only constant thing so when the need arises, don’t be afraid to Change. Pellegrini was afraid to change Toure, Moyes was afraid to change Rooney. The rest is history.
#10. Don’t accept being BEATEN: When every other city player played to keep the scoreline acceptable, David Silva fought like a wild cat to get back into the game and Nasri got the message and they both inspired a superb comeback. Don’t ever accept defeat when the struggle is not over. Never lose hope.
#11. Avoid being DISTRACTED: For a short period of five minutes, Liverpool battled to maintain their level of concentration and with Silva and Nasri on the pitch, ready to make them pay, it was two goals in five minutes for the men in blue much to the shock and disbelief of the home side, especially goalkeeper Mignolet.
#12. STRATEGIZE: Almost immediately after the comeback, The player every home fan was happy to see on the bench was introduced. Aguero’s introduction for Dzeko was an in-play mind game and it almost payed off, with defenders struggling to cope with him and Silva just missing the clear cut chance to put City ahead.
#13. Don’t PANIC: For a moment, Liverpool panicked and in truth would’ve lost the game had they not gotten their acts together. When things take a nose dive turn, panicking could cause destabilization. You could get scared a bit but don’t let it show. Make people watching believe you got it under controland get your acts together.
#14. Take RESPONSIBILITY: The manner of Steven Gerrard’s play after City’s second goal would make one think he was the cause of both goals. He shouldered the responsibility as the captain and rallied his troop to step up their game. A very fantastic reaction that points back to captains leading by example. When you’re in a position to lead, take full responsibility.
#15. Avoid ERRORS: Although I argued with my friend that no one is above mistakes but as she quite rightly said, as a professional, you are supposed to be above some level of mistakes. You never can tell how much damage your errors can cause. Liverpool fans should give Vincent Kompany a pat on the back for that belittling error that both gave them all the three points and earned him the flop of the match.
#16. Be at the RIGHT place: I didn’t really get this point but I agree Coutinho the match winner was at the right place to capitalize on the unexplainable error. He wasted no time and I mean he didn’t even face the goal before taking the shot that left the impressive Joe Hart scrambling to his left hand post.
#17. Take RISKS: The greatest risk in that match was taken by Martin skrtel towards the end of the match.  He was off balance and the ball was heading goalwards but he instinctively punched the ball away. That was a risk he was willing to take and the resulting penalty could have cost them the win but thankfully for them, he got away with it. Take risks but avoid unnecessary ones.
#18. Don’t SIT BACK: For a moment I thought if it was United, City might probably still equalize with our ‘protect-the-lead’ sit back attitude. That had cost us a lot of points this season and Liverpool rightly didn’t give room for any excess city pressure. Don’t sit back.
#19. Be innovative but stick to BASICS: The winning manager sure had the game in his hands and deployed the basic managerial time wasting tactics. Bringing on Nigerian Victor Moses and Brazilian Lucas Pezzini Leiva not for any particular reason but wind down the clock. Not all Basics get old fashioned.
#20. Give room for EMOTIONS: If you get a job done, allow emotions. Those were the tears and the short pep talk the Liverpool captain gave his side just immediately after the final whistle. Don’t put up the ‘it’s nothing’ attitude. Allow emotions.
And that’s it. I added some myself too but overall, I hope I didn’t bore you too much with this quick one. All the best to Madrid and Barca fans on Wednesday night as the Copa del Rey for the 2013/2014 season comes to a scintillating end.
Thanks for reading this up. Have a nice day. 🙂
Mature Minds Talk.


THE EX FACTOR #9

When suspicions and questions starts to creep in, love may at a point reach breaking point.
What exactly does this lady think she’s doing?
Is June or whatever her name is, trying to break Believe and Titi’s relationship?
If she just happen to run into Titi as they both innocently claimed, what kind of bastard is coincidence then?

Or is she just trying to get payback for what Dave did to her and how he treated her?…
Never underestimate the extent to which a broken hearted woman can go to quench her thirst for revenge.
“Hello”
“Howfar Jay. Its Doc”
“Haha!… Doctor FM. Howfar my guy?”
“Nothing much bro. Calling from the office. Are u ok?… You haven’t done much on your forum recently. Then I’m trying to comment on a recent thread and I’m having difficulty doing that…”
“Yea man. First off, I’ve been very very busy. I need to make an apologetic post sef. Twenty-four hours isn’t enough to make a day. I’ve made some new posts though. Then about the comment, I don’t know jor. Find a way around it or will you call Seun Osewa if you’re having problems with Naira Land?”
“Typical Jay. Typical!…Screw you man!”
“Hehe… You’re welcome! Have a nice day”
And that call brought to my memory, the fact that we’ve locked this very guy out of any and indication of what was happening with ‘Believe’, his confessions and our resolutions. That in itself could be the key to avoid a more intense drama than what went down at The Stepp Inn.
“Oh well” I said as I shrugged off the thought, replacing it with another.
The Fairy’s Touch is one of the fast rising saloon and spa on Lagos Island, precisely Lekki. Not only did they have very pocket friendly prices, they had also mastered the importance of first impressions and customers were flocking in on daily basis but this particular weekend, the much loved beauty house would play a vital role in aligning an inevitable future drama. Waiting customers sat with their slot tag in their possession, eagerly waiting for the vacancy of the seat their slot fell into. Some were busy with their phones while they waited, some skimmed through the pages of various magazines, some just sat staring and admiring the craftiness of the hairdressers.
A lady sat, staring down with all seriousness at the screen of her phone, seeming oblivious of what was happening around her. Thanks to the way the beauty house ran their business, once its your turn, you’ll be called upon since the numbers were on the tag.
“Oh my gosh! Is that scandal?” The lady sitting beside her shouted, nudging her arm a little.
“Yes. Third season. Why?” She replied with a straight voice and a little frown to show displeasure at the interruption.
“I apologize if I broke your flow. I so much love this show. You just can’t but love Olivia Pope. That lady is a monumental feminist. Please you have to give me your download link. My download site is yet to upload season three”
“Ok, anytime you’re ready” she replied with what looked like a forced smile.
“Thanks so much. By the way, I’m June”
“I’m Titi. Nice meeting you June”
And that was the start of the conversation that led from tv series and exchange of download sites to job comparisons, women and choices of hair to exchange of numbers.
“I’m only in Lagos for a short while. Though its in preparation for my transfer here. I might use your help when looking for a place to settle. I’ll prefer anywhere on the island though”
“No problem. I even have a few agent friends. I’m sure helping out would be nothing more than a few phone calls”
—————————————————————–
After the long asymmetrical and nervous conversation at the bar, in which most of the times I was just called upon to chip in my own opinion, and getting to realize that match making I and June was why Titi had been calling to say she wanted to see me, I didn’t know whether to feel relieved that the cat was still intact in the bag or to panic cos of the potential drama that would unfold if it was ever to be let out.
“I have to warn Dave. I can’t put sentiments before friendship. I have to scream ‘INCOMING!’ to his ears and jerk him off his persistent slow decision making process” I thought to myself.
“Pay attention to the people you watch. Pay more attention to the people that watches you”
“No way!… Are you sure that is the picture of the person you saw?” Dave asked me, sounding very terrified.
“Ha!… That’s the exact same face. You even have her pix on your phone…”
“No!… I’m not that stupid. I just saved that off facebook now to send it to you for confirmation”
“Ok. You need to act fast man. This is really shaping up to end badly. This is why I hate coincidences. Its such a b*tch”
“This is not good Jay. Believe me!… Not good and not fair!… Can’t a man make a small mistake and get away with it? Huh?! Must life make a joke out of the smallest of one’s predicaments?… Must a web be spurned to entangle one to his cross?”
“This isn’t the time for questions. This is the time for action. Cut yourself loose from that web before the day of crucifixion. A word is enough for the wise and don’t say I never warned you”
“Thanks bro. A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do right?”
“Yea. Right”
Dave decided to break the news to Titi on the morrow, saturday at Silverbird Galleria after seeing “Winter’s Tale” and put an end to the whole drama. I wonder what called for the whole ceremony though, it wasn’t as if you were going to break the news of your promotion or winning a life changing stake. I’ll rather news like that be broken in private. Best place of choice for me, the same kind of place where the screw up happened – The Bedroom. To give room for a makeup make-out or humping.
Dave called Titi to ask of the possibility of them hanging out the next day. “Not likely” was the response and the reason was this and that appointments. After much persuasion and stating that it was very important, she decided to cancel all of them to hang out.
“If I can’t terminate my appointments because of you, then who will I terminate them for?” She said and Dave could taste the distaste in his mouth. They fixed the time and Dave got about his business.
“Baby, I’m sorry. I just want to tell you that I messed up. I slept with June. My ex girlfriend from uni days” Dave stood for a minute, looked down and shook his head. “No. No. No… That’s too blunt. Baby, I screwed up. The reason I’ve been behaving strangely of late is that I had an affair with my ex from uni days. I’m sorry. It’ll never happen again… I think that’s better” he said as the glass of water hit the tip of his lips.
Twenty minutes later Dave’s phone rang and he jerked up to realize he had slept off in his office.
“Hi Dave”
“What do you want?”
“What do I want?… You were never like this a couple of weeks ago before I came to lag. You were all excited and even said it would be ‘2 weeks of fun’. If what happened was a mistake, you don’t have to tie me to a stake for it. After all I didn’t rape you. I’m even the one who’s supposed to be behaving somehow. So be mature and take it easy with the attitude”
“Ok. Ok. How can I help you”
“I need to see you. There’s something I need to tell you”
“I’m listening”
“I won’t tell you I want to see you if it was something I could say over the phone”
“Forget about it if you can’t say it over the phone then”
“Trust me you wanna know. You just don’t know yet”
Dave blinked twice, removed the phone from his ear and stared at it for two seconds like something was supposed to pop out of the screen then returned it.
“Ok. Hope no problem”. He sounded calmer than he was earlier.
“That depends” June replied “Just fix a time you’ll be available. Tomorrow?”
“No. I’m seeing my fiancée tomorrow. I’ll find time next week”
“Aiit. Cool. Later!”.
Dave slowly put the phone on the table, let out a very deep frustrated sigh, sat back in his chair and chewed on his left thumb nail.
Dave’s phone rang again.
“What the hell is this girl’s problem?” He said, lifting the gold panel iphone 5s to his left ear.
“Yes?!”
“Believe!… Howfar guy?”
“Huhn Doc… Ermm… I dey”. He knew straightaway it was Doc FM. He was the only one that confidently calls his nickname anywhere anytime.
“Are you alright?… You sound like you just finished the 5th round”
“I’m fine. Just kind of busy. That’s all”
“Believe. I heard something and I need to know if its true. I need you to be very very honest with me. Can you do that?”
Dave sat up in his chair, stretched the remote to decrease the temperature of the AC.
“Yes Doc. I’m all ears”
“Don’t ask me who I heard it from. I’ll tell you myself when its time”
“Talk Doc, no suspense please. Forget about who told you. Just tell me what you heard”
“I guess now you know. So is it true?”
A drop of sweat hit the file on the table. Dave’s body system was not acknowledging the temperature of the room in the slightest.
Doctor FM was the last person that should know about this whole June issue.
“Is what true?”
“You just gave your word to be honest Dave…”
“Talk to me Doc. You have to come plain first”
“I heard you’re breaking up with Titi ‘cos you caught her cheating”
‘Every act of Betrayal comes with a price we all can’t pay’
Mature Minds Talk.
THE EX FACTOR is a weekly publication from the MMT JOURNALS. Scheduled for publishing every saturday by 9pm.
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SCHOOL GIRL, 15 ENDS HER LIFE UNDER SOCIAL MEDIA PRESSURE

A schoolgirl hanged herself because she could not cope with the ‘21st-century pressures’ caused by social media and mobile phones, her father said yesterday.
The family of 15-year-old Olivia Glennie had no idea anything was wrong before her death. Her father Alex said the pressures of 24-hour communication by text, Facebook and the internet mean teenagers are faced with ‘too much, too young’, and parents need to be more aware of the danger signs.

Olivia was found hanging from a tree in September by a dog walker. She was given resuscitation treatment and taken to hospital but died five days later.Talented and popular, Olivia was outwardly happy but was hiding insecurities about her boyfriend, her friends and her looks, an inquest heard. Her family said they were unaware of this as she ‘had everything to live for’ and had enjoyed her sister’s wedding just days before.
Mr Glennie, 51, a contracts manager from Huddersfield, told the Daily Mail: ‘I can’t say what was going through her mind, I don’t think anybody in this world can.‘Maybe people need to be more aware of the signs with teenagers in this day and age. With the internet and mobile phones and Facebook, I think they are getting too much, too young. It’s a cultural change.‘Children are growing up so quickly. They have a lot of pressures, these 21st-century pressures.’ He said his daughter, who was 6ft 1in, could have been a model but was insecure about her teenage acne. ‘She would say to me, “Dad, I’ve got too many spots”,’ he said. ‘I have photographs of her with no makeup on and she still looks beautiful.’
A statement from Olivia’s mother, Diane, 49, was read to the inquest in Huddersfield. She said: ‘To be told that our beautiful daughter would not pull through brought unimaginable pain, all our hopes and dreams for her were shattered.
‘She must have been in a really dark place at that time. This is something, as a mother, I wish I could have helped her with.’The inquest heard from Olivia’s friends that she was upset about splitting from her on-off boyfriend and had fallen out with a close friend. One friend was aware she had been self-harming by cutting her hip, but her parents did not know. Friends had been supportive and did not suspect she was suicidal.
I sincerely hope the spirit of suicide roaming around youths these days, painting a cheap picture of one’s life will take a forced break. Cos thus is getting alarmingly disturbing.

Story culled from Daily Mail.

Mature Minds Talk.


IN AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP

What’s the definition of open relationship? Do you believe that it’s possible to adore one man and be sexually-active with the others? Are receptive relationships helpful or dangerous to couples? The dictionary definition of receptive relationship is that this: An amenable relationship is a relationship at which participants are liberated to own psychological or physical relationships with several other partners, regularly within mutually established limits. – Different Varieties of Relationships

The meaning of receptive relationship leaves lots of room for interpreting, and individuals who question whether such a relationship works for them can fight to arrive at an understanding. Not using the definition of receptive relationship as alibi, don’t forget to follow safe sexual methods, and be secure with each partner, even your dedicated partner. While you want to feel you’ll be able to trust anyone you look after most, mishaps can occur – therefore don’t forget to guard yourself in agreement with health-related guidelines. These types of relationships aren’t common in this part of the world but aren’t entirely unseen.
Favourable Facets
Those who contend that the meaning of receptive relationship enables them to have significantly more independence inside their lives often believe that playing added intimate relationships, with or without psychological connection, makes them better companions to individuals they are given to. Another well-known argument for opening the doorway to letting ‘outsiders’ in, is that consenting to be personal with others stops cheating. While this may not be some thing we all trust, those who agree to participate in such relationships are frequently pleased against the life-style they’ve selected.
Negative Facets
A damaging aspect is the fact that you open your self up to emotions of insecurity, envy, along with other damaging emotional emotions. This may open up an entire Pandora’s Box of psychological tumult. What to do should you want to let others In your relationship If you’re the one that is contemplating requesting your partner to reside using an open relationship, strategize the matter attentively. It’s possible that you’ll get a good deal of detailing to do, and you can run the danger of dropping your partnership.
If you want assistance, consider requesting a web-based counsel how better to approach the problem. They will help lead you toward a workable alternative with your partner turning your relationship to an open one isn’t always the answer.
Do you believe in open relationships?

Mature Minds Talk.


10 WAYS TO COMBAT SEXUAL ADDICTION

I published a post on signs to know if you’re an addict to sex a couple of weeks back and I got a few comments and mails on how helpful the post was but right now I feel very bad because the most important comment to me was the one suggesting I post cures of sexual addiction, alongside the signs. I feel so bad cos it took me this long but I’ve been in NYSC camp and haven’t had access to the internet for quite a reasonable while.

10 quick ways to combat sexual addiction
1. ADMIT: The first step to recovery is admittance. Once you’ve admitted to needing help, the journey to recovery automatically kicks off.
2. DETERMINATION: Addictions are actually formed habit. Like any other addiction, determination is the first stage of breaking a habit. Without determination, all you can do is keep trying. Be determined you want this habit to stop and be ready to give it all it takes.
3. PRAYER: This might no not necessarily be deliverance, but if you’re not an atheist, then you must believe there’s a good man up there who’s willing to help out. Don’t ask why prayer came after determination though. Prayer without determination is as useless as shooting to kill with rubber bullets.
4. JOIN A RECOVERY GROUP: You might need to join an anonymous recovery group where everyone can help each other out. These groups can help in cases where you need to talk to someone and share problems. Never underestimate the power of joining discussion groups as you’ll learn from others and their experiences might be the challenge you need.
5. ABSTAIN FROM PORNOGRAPHY: This is one thing you need to flee like a plague. No matter how determined you are, pornography is never the test to measure how strong you have become. Pornography affects your mind and I mean directly. It weakens your will power and will cause a very steep regression in your rehabilitation process.
6. CUT OFF RELATIONSHIPS: Unhealthy and progress halting relationships have to be cut off in the best interest of your rehab process. First of all, unhealthy relationships with opposite sex and girl friends must be cut off. Then relationships with friends who encourage you to have multiple sex partners because they engage in such themselves must also be cut off. In simple words, Just for you to grow, some people’s got to go.
7. REGULATE: If you’re married, leaving a life of sexual addiction might not necessarily mean bringing your sexual life to a halt and thereby affecting your partner. Regulation is needed and strict adherence to your schedule is required. As funny as it may look out sound. Regulating the time you have sex with your partner will help you gain control of your sex life. It might be difficult at first but with time, you’ll slowly gain that much needed control.
8. REPLACE: One of the easiest tricks of addiction is replacement. Sometimes, the catalyst to flushing out an habit, is replacing it with another habit. Sketching, reading, writing, solving brain teasers, crafts and so on are hobbies that one can develop into an habit to replace sexual addiction. Sexual addiction can be a very strong habit, so I’ll advice the combination of at least two of the afore mentioned hobbies to be developed into an habit and ost especially whenever you find yourself in the ‘mood’
9. MONITOR YOUR PROGRESS: The way out of sexual addiction is not an abstract road. Don’t be deceived. Just as people tick out dates for a count down, tick out dates on your special sexual addiction recovery calender to monitor your progress. This will also help in monitoring how far and how well the process is coming along and give a more real meaning to your recovery task.
10. MEDICATIONS: I mentioned this last because I believe an addiction can be broken without the help of medications. Professionals often use cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to help individuals with sex addiction learn their individual triggers for sexually destructive (acting out) behaviors, reevaluating distortions in their thoughts that contribute to their acting out behaviors, and ultimately controlling those behaviors.
– THINK OF THE CONSEQUENCES: Amongst many other consequences, sexual addiction if not broken, can break you marriage, relationship, your image, and even your career would feel the negative effect.
Don’t procrastinate. Break off that habit now.
Mature Minds Talk.